


A Step in the Wrong Direction

by orphan_account



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alive!Tadashi, Alternate Universe, Forced Orgasm, Hurt/Comfort, I'm going to hell for writing this, Incest, M/M, Mental Instability, Over Protective Tadashi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Probably ooc, Rape Recovery, Revenge, kinda mentally unstable Tadashi?, later Hidashi, probably unrealistic, rape/noncon, very dark, where Tadashi survives the fire but Callaghan dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:25:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2675447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate universe where Callaghan dies in the fire, and Tadashi does not.  Hiro still gets into university but bot fighting ends up being something he still continues to do every once and a while, much to Tadashi's disliking.  </p><p>One night Hiro finds himself in some serious trouble when he takes down the wrong guy in a competition.    </p><p>Warning for Rape/Non-con.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pride Can Falter

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to hell for this. 
> 
> I am so sorry Hiro.

Hiro failed to hide the smile that played on his lips as he watched Megabot destroy its opponent, metal and shrapnel flying over the playing field. Within seconds he had found the other robots weak points, navigating across the ring with ease and bringing the battle to an abrupt and unexpected end. No one missed the way his face lit up in victory as he delivered the final blow in a mash of buttons. 

The other contestant stared in shock, mouth falling open as he watched his robot destroyed before his eyes. Undefeated until this moment, his pride seemed to crumble with his robots collapsing form as he gawked down at the heap of junk that was once the source of his illegal income. Those who were in the audience all stared in quiet disbelief, and most began to pack up as soon as the bids were sorted out, the youngest Hamada practically gleaming as he collected his earnings from the pan that was hesitantly held in his direction by a young woman. She eyed him incredulously. 

Although he had been attending university for several months now, there was still a part of him that thrived to make the odd fight – though much to Tadashi's discontent. Since the night of the fire; the same night they both could have died (and Callaghan did,) Tadashi has been so much more protective over his younger brother than Hiro cared to admit. It was like Tadashi had realized how closely they had almost been torn apart that night, and it scared him. Really it scared them both. But that didn't mean Hiro wanted to listen to the new rules his brother had set down. No, instead Hiro had gone and disobeyed his brother once again. 

Tonight he had made sure to remove any tracking devices in his shoes and clothing before sneaking out. He had figured out his older brother’s little trick not too long after Tadashi had started showing up to almost every bot fight Hiro attended, and so he now checked for them regularly. After all the last thing he enjoyed was having to face the embarrassment of being dragged out of a battle, even if Tadashi had saved his hide on more than one occasion  
.  
Pocketing his newly acquired cash Hiro stood, leaning over to grab Megabot, but when he looked up his smile faltered as he noticed the man across the ring still sitting on crossed legs. He watched dark eyes flick his direction, emotions switching just as fast from crushed defeat to hot anger. 

Like every other presumptuous patron Hiro has taken down in the past, this one had been no different. Always overconfident at the start, he never failed to damage their egos each and every time. As a result some would lash out, resorting to violence and taking out their incompetence on Hiro. On more than a few occasions he had come home with black eyes, bruises and welts painting his body from being used as a punching bag. Then having to come up with excuses to a fretting Aunt Cass was almost always just as bad.

He froze in place as the man stood, gulping as he realized this man had almost two feet on him. He had realized before the match that this man had a stronger build, but suddenly Hiro found him slightly more daunting when standing to his full height. Under dark brown hair with the sides shaved in sharp designs, were piercingly dark eyes that scanned over Hiro menacingly. Saying he felt intimidated as the man flexed his neck and heavily tattooed arms was a little more than an understatement. He had an aura about him that told Hiro he was in trouble, and that alone was enough to make him begin looking for an exit as he readied to bolt. 

Taking a couple steps across the ring, the guy approached Hiro, stepping over the mess of parts on the ground as he moved. Hiro knew he probably didn't do well to hide the fear on his face, and quickly he tried to save himself, speaking up. 

"Listen," he started putting his hands up as if it would help, "I don't want any trouble. I–" The warped grin that slipped across the man's face completely threw Hiro off guard as he stuttered and let the last word die on his lips. A hand was suddenly being offered in front of him as the man seemed to relax a little, leaning on one leg more than the other as he looked over the boy before him. There was still something unreadable in his eyes that made Hiro uncertain, and he looked at the outstretched hand with question. 

"Hey, you won," he shrugged, deep voice echoing around the restricting walls encircling the ring, "That was a good fight."

Hiro glanced between the hand and who was attached to it a few times before warily deciding to take it with a mumbled "thanks". A strong grip matched his appearance and Hiro almost cringed at the pressure that was applied with the shake. At the same time Hiro took a second to notice the ink that coated his arm – some sort of lizard, maybe a dragon – curling over his forearm twice before wrapping up and around his bicep. The thing appeared to almost breathe with the movement of the hand shake. 

When Hiro went to pull out of the crushing grip, the man didn’t do the same. Instead he pulled Hiro next to him as he slung an arm across the young boy’s shoulders. Hiro squeaked as he collided into the larger male’s side, nearly dropping his bot from the surprise of the unanticipated and very unnecessary action. But before he could even object the man was talking over him, shouting through the dissipating crowd of people and gesturing to someone. 

"Let's celebrate this boy’s lucky victory with some drinks, yeah?" he announced, giving Hiro a rough shake. He looked down at the boy just as Hiro was about to attempt removing the unwanted arm wrapped around him. The guy either didn't notice or didn't care as he laughed adding "You can drink with us. It'll be fun." 

"Not old enough," Hiro stated quickly, as he tried again to push away with no avail. An overwhelming feeling of dread suddenly overcame him as he figured the guy might have no intention of letting go.

"The law doesn't exactly apply in these parts," the man chuckled deeply before leading Hiro from the open space of the ring, forcing him forward on his feet and away from any public onlookers. As he was practically dragged away, the panic that lit in Hiro’s chest came just as quickly as the motion and he had almost no time to process what was going on before he was being directed down an unwelcoming looking alley. He went to shout out, but a hand covered his mouth. 

With adrenaline pumping through his body, Hiro did the first thing he thought of. Acting on impulse he bit down hard. This rewarded him with a loud yelp from the man as well as his release. He didn’t dare miss the opportunity to scramble away, sprinting back in the direction of the battle arena and only hoping someone up there might actually help him.

He never would find out though as he was stopped in his tracks by two figures that came out of what seemed like thin air, ruining Hiro’s escape plan. Before he could even react, one of the road blocks had ripped Megabot out of Hiro’s grasp and tossed it in the nearest dumpster, lid slamming closed loudly on impact. 

"We heard 'bout what that thing did to Yama," one of the burly men spoke up, eyeing the dumpster in disgust before spitting on the pavement, "Can't believe ya actually had the nerve to drag it 'ere." As Hiro was about to turn and run in another direction, an arm snaked around his throat, ending his moment of freedom. He choked as he was pulled backwards into something solid. A body, he quickly recognized as he felt the heaving fall and rise of a chest against the back of his head. 

"That wasn't very nice," he heard a familiar deep voice rasp behind his ear. Hiro's own hands came up to try and remove the tattooed arm, but unsuccessful he managed to only hold on with what strength he could find. 

"I–Ah!" Hiro tried to speak, but was cut off as the pressure around his neck tightened, making it very difficult to breath. 

The two hulking men ahead of Hiro (henchmen, he decided) started walking towards him, and he realized these were probably the people the man currently almost strangling him had signaled earlier. As they walked forward Hiro noted that they never actually did get closer, and it took him a moment to realize he was being pulled backwards – they were just following.

"You fucked up kid." 

Hiro tried to reply to the voice behind him, but anything he tried to say came out as a stifled gasp. In desperation Hiro started twisting and kicking but struggling only seemed to tire him out – not a good addition on top of already having issues getting air to his lungs. It didn't take long before his vision started to blur and darken, his head growing heavy as he watched everything go in and out of focus. 

Hiro wasn't sure how much time had passed before the smothering arm slipped away, letting him fall to the ground. He landed hard on his hands and knees coughing and retching as his throat readjusted to the missing tension. Only when he finally began to calm down did a heavy boot meet with his stomach causing him to flip on his back with a cry of surprise and pain as he started coughing all over again. 

Wincing he forced his eyes to focus, scanning his surroundings.

He found he was still outside, specifically in an alleyway, though not the same one as before. This one appeared to be narrower and had less lighting than the previous one, making shadows bend and cover every wall and trash bin. When he listened he found he could no longer hear the busy conversation of bot fight attendees that usually surrounded the rings, and even the sound of traffic was fairly distant. Wherever he was, it was somewhere they definitely didn't want to be disturbed.

_Speaking of which, _Hiro wondered where they had disappeared to as he sat up, and looking over his shoulder he saw two shaded figures standing at the mouth of the alley some distance away. From what he could tell it was the two road blocks from earlier. Both their backs were turned in his direction as they spoke in quiet conversation, once and a while the other erupting in laughter. Hiro searched for the third one, but didn't see him, and frankly he didn't care. So long as these two were distracted, he could probably slip away without them taking notice. Rising on shaking legs, Hiro stood feeling more weak than ever as he took a couple steps forward, nearly stumbling._ _

__The cracking sound of a can being opened made him jump and he turned around to see a figure step out of the shadows, drink in hand. His dark appearance set Hiro on edge, and suddenly all he could think of was how much this guy resembled one of Fred's scary looking comic book villains. The man started walking towards him, eyes fixated on the boy before him; the gleam Hiro caught in his eye was hard to miss as they trailed over his much smaller body. Stuck in place Hiro watched in trepidation as the man drew nearer and nearer. Just the way he approached Hiro was enough to make him shudder._ _

__"Drink?" he extended the can, which Hiro noticed the label to be from a popular beer here in San Fransokyo. Where he had gotten the drink, Hiro had no clue. Maybe one of his goons had brought it for him while he had been writhing on the ground. Either way, he didn't care. Remembering the mistake he made when he shook his hand, Hiro didn't move or say a word, and instead stared at it as though he had just been offered a glass of bleach._ _

__The man laughed at Hiro's rejection before shrugging and taking a swig from the can himself. Meanwhile Hiro scanned the dim alley for any sign of an exit, only to find out much to his dismay it came to a very dark dead end. If he wanted to get out, his only option was to slip past the two guards at the entrance of the alley._ _

_Or fly,_ Hiro thought as he looked up hopeful. He scanned the brick walls to see if there were any ladders or a balcony low enough to get to, but found none. In fact, there weren't even any windows, meaning calling for help was probably pointless. Looking back down, he found to his unease that the man had moved closer. With barely two feet between them now, Hiro felt a knot twist in his stomach that managed to pain the bruise already formed from being kicked. In a fight of flight response, he chose to flee, turning on his heel and _praying _he could just get past those two brutes and out of harms way. He barely made it two steps before he was being grabbed by the collar of his shirt and pulled backwards, strength that was no comparison to his own shoving him loudly against the side of one of the dumpsters. He gasped at the collision, a hand suddenly wrapping itself around his throat to hold him in place. Hiro's own hands responded by grabbing onto his attackers wrist as he stared up into dark, hungry looking eyes.__

______"I don't think so," the man growled, beer still miraculously being held in his other hand, "Not after what you did to my bot, Hiro."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hiro's eyes widened at his name. "H–How do you–” he rasped out, but was cut off by the man's guttural laugh._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Who doesn't know you?" he asked, "You're known for what you've conned from people, are you not? The bottom line is you're no better than a thief. Do you know how many people want to see you dead?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sure, Hiro knew he had a bad rep around the ring. Those who recognized him knew well to stay away, and those who didn't soon learned a quick lesson after a match. Then there were those who were so cocky they believed they could win no matter what. But people who actually wanted him dead? He never realized he was quite that infamous. No less, if this man knew who he was and what he did, why did he still choose to fight him?_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I thought I could take you," question answered, "but I guess it's pretty hard to defeat a cheat."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"But I–I didn't cheat!" Hiro managed. This was just a man who couldn't deal with the reality of losing._ _ _ _ _ _

______He seemed to contemplate this for a second and Hiro was hopeful as he thought the guy might actually listen to reason. But a coy smile curled across his face, and all that hope quickly disappeared._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Doesn't matter," he said, "You still need to be put in your place."_ _ _ _ _ _

______With that Hiro’s throat was released as he was lifted away from the dumpster and pushed against the wall next to it, his back landing painfully hard against the brick. At the same time the man downed what was left of his drink, throwing the quickly emptied can into one of the dark corners and out of sight. Hiro waited for the pain of the first punch, the first kick, everything he was so used to receiving from other sore losers; one's that only wanted to see him beaten to a pulp. But it never came and instead he felt something else._ _ _ _ _ _

______What happened next threw him completely off guard as the man leaned down, encasing his lips around Hiro's neck. He stood in shock and confusion at first, and as the guy started pulling at Hiro's hoodie and clothes, the realization of this man's intention hit him full force._ _ _ _ _ _

______He panicked, immediately lifting his hands to push the guy away - to get him off, but he didn't budge. It felt like he was trying to push off a boulder and not an actual person. Completely terrified, Hiro tried to move himself away, but the hands that wrapped around his waist ensured he stayed put._ _ _ _ _ _

______"No, stop...!" Hiro whined, a hand suddenly finding its way up his shirt. He went to fight then, fist coming up for a punch, but it was somehow caught mid swing, as though the man had expected it. Both his hands were grabbed and restrained then, the man pulling back for a brief second. Holding Hiro's skinny wrists in one hand, he then used his other as he dug through one of his own pockets._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hiro's eye's dilated in fear as a knife was suddenly being flaunted in front of him._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You know what this is, Hiro?" the man asked, sounding almost agitated that he even had to bring it out. Hiro didn't respond as tears started to silently pour down his cheeks. "This is what I hopefully won't have to use, so long as you do what I say. Try to cause problems, and..." he made a jerking motion with the blade right next to Hiro's face, causing the young boy to flinch, "Got it?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hiro nodded his head vigorously, eyes pinched closed as he unwillingly complied._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Good boy."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hiro didn't struggle this time as those hands were forced back on him, keeping his eyes tightly shut as his sweater was removed and dropped to the ground. Then those same disgusting lips were back at his skin, sucking and biting and undoubtedly leaving very visible marks. Hiro turned his head away as they landed on his mouth next, but a hand forcibly grabbed his jaw and turned it back, his own lips then being pressed against his attackers. A stray hand roamed back under his shirt, grabbing and feeling whatever it could find, and when he felt one of his nipples pinched painfully hard, Hiro cried out, recoiling._ _ _ _ _ _

______The man only laughed._ _ _ _ _ _

______"The fun's just getting started," Hiro heard breathed against his ear. He failed to hold back a sob as he was suddenly flipped over, almost as easily as turning the page of a book, and Hiro raised his hands in reaction, pressing them flat on the wall as his body was pushed flush against it. Again those lips were back, tainting his neck and shoulders as the collar of his t-shirt was tugged and pulled down to gain better access. Apparently it wasn't good enough though because in the next second Hiro's shirt was being pulled off over his head, those rough fingers now free to touch his upper body without the restriction of fabric, and lips now having the liberty to trail across his shoulders and down his spine with ease._ _ _ _ _ _

______When a hand was suddenly forced down the front of his pants, Hiro cried out in objection. This didn't so much as make the man falter as he continued to slide down inside Hiro's boxers, wrapping fingers around the boy's cock._ _ _ _ _ _

______"N–No! Please, stop!" Hiro pleaded as he felt the hand press around him uncomfortably. Much to his horror he actually felt himself reacting to the touch, and in a state of loathing and embarrassment inwardly cursed his growing body's out of control hormones. The man sneered as he felt the teen tremble below him, the boy's semi hard prick radiating in his palm. With a subtle pump he felt the smaller body shudder, and he reveled in the reaction._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I think you're enjoying this..." he observed, scanning every twitch in Hiro's thin back and watching as the boy shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______"No..." Hiro said in an almost whisper, obviously worn, "Please, just–Ah!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Another jerk from the man's wrist left Hiro crying out, another plea escaping his dry throat as the action was continued. Hiro felt it hurt more than brought pleasure yet his body had seemingly abandoned his conscious, his dick reacting to every stroke much against his wishes. It wasn't long before his voice disobeyed him as well and he soon found himself panting and moaning in time with the action; the discomfort that his now full erection was somehow enjoying quickly becoming no problem for the rest of his traitorous body._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sweaty and disoriented Hiro regretfully came with one last wail as a cloud of mild relief washed over him. Winded, he struggled to keep standing as the man removed his hand, wiping off the mess on Hiro's own shorts._ _ _ _ _ _

______He hoped that was it, but he also knew better; even considering getting out of this so soon was more than redundant._ _ _ _ _ _

______As his own cargo shorts were pushed down to his thighs, Hiro paled, and any hope he had was quickly washed away. His boxers followed suit, and the air that hit his naked ass was almost as bad as the hands that grabbed it. He couldn't control the sob that racked his entire body, and despite knowing the uselessness of doing so, he still begged. He _pleaded_ as a hand, slicked up with what he guessed was saliva, squeezed between his ass cheeks, and prodded at his entrance. He _cried_ as the first finger slipped inside him, and then another beside it, uncomfortably stretching him out. He _knew_ that nothing he said or did would make this man quit, and he hated him for it. ______

____________Agonizingly Hiro felt the fingers slide in and out of him, and he naturally tried to draw away from the feeling. But a hand grabbing his shoulder ensured he stayed in place and suffered through every second of it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He almost sighed in relief when they were finally removed, but caught his breath as he felt something new rubbing against his ass. He heard the man spit into his hand then, lathering up his own length no doubt, and Hiro held his breath praying it would just be over soon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________As the man pushed himself inside, Hiro screamed, his voice echoing down the entirety of the alley. Desperately he tried to pull away; do anything that would help ease the sudden pain, but there was nowhere to go and nothing he could do but endure it. The man groaned ignoring all Hiro's protests as he forced himself forward, every inch that Hiro felt bury deeper and deeper he could only compare to being ripped in half. The fingers that were in him prior seemed like nothing when compared._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He was given no time to adjust to this new aching stretch before the man was in motion. With the first unexpected thrust Hiro cried out, the force almost enough to send him landing face first into the wall. Every movement; every thrust after, was pure agony. The wave of nausea that overcame him then was accompanied by frustration and humiliation as he took into account what was being done to him and at the same moment what was being taken from him. Though the emotions that surfaced didn’t live long before they were replaced by new, more heated ones, or sometimes simply tuned out entirely in favor of ignoring the reality of the situation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Hiro heard the man's heavy breathing as he panted over his shoulder, hot breath hanging sickly to his ear. The continuous rhythm of skin slapping skin could be heard throughout the alley followed by pained cries and common protests from Hiro. But it didn't take long before he stopped begging all together, the tears drying up on his cheeks as he seemed to almost accept his fate. Feeling his legs give in Hiro would have fallen to the ground had the man not been grabbing his hips the entire time, managing to keep him upright with little effort. The aching sensation in his ass had changed over to a warm throb, leaving Hiro with only the continuous numbing friction from what was currently sheathed inside him. While the man drew nearer to his climax, Hiro let his forehead fall against the wall as he was fucked mercilessly into the brick. The grim look that covered his face was enough to tell anyone just how depleted he really was. He grimaced when felt the splash of heat spill inside him, feeling his own body tremble and the one above him quake as his assailant finally came._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________When he eventually pulled out, Hiro couldn't help but notice how he was left gaping open, empty and used. As the hands that were holding him up slipped away, he welcomed the gravity that took him over as his legs gave out, sliding down the wall until eventually coming to rest on his knees which ground painfully into the cement floor. Eyes unseeing, he stared through the wall mortified and in complete disbelief of what he just experienced._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Hearing the man do up the zipper to his pants, Hiro didn't dare make a move to do the same, partially out of fear but mostly out of still trying to recover from the realization that he was just raped. He inhaled sharply when he felt the man move to his level, pressing the knife square under his jugular._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________This was finally it; he was going to die right here in this rotten alley. No one would know what happened, Hiro figured. Not Aunt Cass, not Tadashi. At least not until they found his abused and decomposing corpse in one of these dumpsters, already so far gone that it can barely be identified. The cruel thought jumped and played out through his head. He didn't bother to object as the blade pushed harder against his flesh, coming to accept that he was probably nearing his last few moments of life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________As instantly as the blade had appeared, it was suddenly being taken away and Hiro was roughly shoved off to the side. He landed harshly on his back and winced at the pain that erupted up his backside. When he looked up the first thing he saw was his sweater being picked off the ground, the man rummaging through the pockets before pulling out the money Hiro had won earlier and stuffing it into his own. He then turned throwing the sweater at Hiro, the thing comically fanning out and covering his naked and abused skin. Hiro wasn't sure if the man did this because he didn't want to look at his handy work or because he just wanted Hiro to get dressed. Either reason, it ended up hiding evidence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Hiro glared up at him, saw he still had the knife and braced himself, ready for it to come slashing down at any second. But it never did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Instead the man smirked, shaking the blade in Hiro's direction as if scolding him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"You tell a soul; cops or anyone else, and I'll find you," he bent down again, rocking slightly on his toes as he squatted, seeming to contemplate something at the same time, "You have a sister? A brother?" He smiled at Hiro's reaction to the question, the boy’s face shadowing in horror in a silent confirmation that yes, he did have a brother. The way Hiro's face dropped alone at the mention was enough of a hint that he could use that to his advantage. "You tell, and I'll kill not just you, but him too," he almost laughed at how the boy reacted to the statement and thought to add a little cherry on top for good measure, "Maybe even give him a taste of what you just had, before I slit his throat."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Anger rose in the pit of Hiro's stomach with the thought of this vile man doing the same to Tadashi._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _____

______________"If you so much as touch him..." he boldly warned, though it was merely an empty threat and the man knew it as he chuckled at the response._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"You seem to forget who has the knife, Hiro," he said making the boy shrink back into the cement as he twirled the blade over his fingers, "But if you keep your mouth shut, no one will have a problem. Right?" Hiro didn't even have tor eply for the man to know he had won, and standing up he folded and pocketed the knife, stepping back and taking one last look at the mess of a boy in front of him. As he scanned over his work, he couldn't help but feel slightly victorious, the anger from the destruction of his own bot now washed away. "Thanks for the fuck, Hiro," he said amused at the revulsion that twisted the boy’s face. With the sweet taste of revenge still fresh on his tongue, he felt fairly pleased when he realized the boy probably wouldn't be back for a bot fight anytime soon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Hiro watched as the man turned away then, walking around the dumpster and towards the mouth of the alley. The two goons at the entrance appeared to be unfazed and only turned for what Hiro guessed was the first time when they were approached by their leader. None of them looked back as they walked off together, disappearing from sight around the dark corner._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Hiro sat there for what seemed like an eternity, just waiting for the man to change his mind and come sprinting back around the corner to finish him off – or worse for another round. But after what seemed like at least twenty minutes with no return, Hiro finally accepted it was over and let everything wash over him. The tears that stung his eyes then came from relief first, grateful to be done with the ordeal. Though that feeling was short lived as the horror of what he just went through took its place, causing the tears to spill over._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Rolling onto his side Hiro drew his knees up to his chest as he wept into the cold cement. He had been used and discarded, left here like a piece of unwanted trash, and right now he couldn't help but feel just as worthless. He couldn't bring himself to care that he was still mostly naked, the sweater blanketing him the only thing attempting to keep him decent. His body shivered from the cold and the tears that shook with every breath he took. Completely and utterly exhausted, it didn't take him long before he passed out where he lay, the darkness that consumed him almost comforting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Greed's Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just want to start by giving a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who left a comment and kudos and overall just the amazing support! I really was not expecting that, but I appreciate all the praise and only hope I can satisfy just as much in the future!

_Where are you, Hiro? ___

__Tadashi stood at the edge of what he concluded was a battle arena as his eyes scanned searchingly over the opening before him. Deserted metal carcasses of what were most likely once battle bots could be seen blending with the trash covering the area, scattered and abandoned similarly. Not many people were around, but those who were stood to the side and off against the walls, nearly out of Tadashi’s sight. Some appeared to be counting out money - probably what they had won from gambling at any battles that took place here._ _

__Tadashi’s brows crossed in agitation, his frustration growing when he didn't see his brother amongst the stragglers and feeling immensely out of place he shifted awkwardly before taking out his phone, worried he wasn’t in the right spot. There was always the possibility he had read the coordinates wrong, after all…_ _

__He almost groaned as he viewed the screen. This was the right location._ _

__He looked up examining the venue again, glancing over all the evidence left of the tournament. The heaps of discarded metal alone provided enough of a sign that Hiro had been here: chunks of debris scattered, twisted and bent in such a way that was only known to be from his brother’s own robot._ _

__What had he named that thing? MegaBot?_ _

__Cautiously wandering into the opening, Tadashi kept a careful eye on his phone as he followed the small blinking map. With no regrets, he can say he’s still fairly pleased with the customized GPS installment, considering it took him less than a night to make. Although invasive, and to an extent cruel, he had decided it was a necessary upgrade when he cooked up the idea only about a month ago (just after he had found out Hiro had started attending these god awful competitions.) His opinion of it is the same as it was then, and unfortunately so is Hiro’s._ _

__Of course it hadn't taken long before Hiro had found out, frequently ensuring to remove them. But never discouraged, Tadashi would simply find new and more creative ways to hide them just as often, and much to his little brother’s irritation. The signal he was receiving tonight was coming from the tracking chip he had installed in MegaBot._ _

__Barely half way into the opening, Tadashi came to a stop, suddenly transitioning his focus to the ground as he seemed to take notice of white chalk marks sketched into the pavement. Studying the lines, he quickly discovered it shaped into a very big circle and he frowned as he realized he was standing in the center of a fight ring. Taking a step backwards he jumped when he felt his back collide into someone._ _

__"Sorry," the college student turned quickly apologizing, wanting not to offend the wrong person; especially not around here. He stepped back at least a few feet to gain some distance between them (just in case) and couldn’t help but notice the prominent tattoo of a dragon on guy’s right arm while doing so._ _

__He wasn’t sure if it was the spiteful look the man carried about him or maybe just the setting he was in – it might have been the cold – but something made Tadashi shiver._ _

__The man didn't say anything and walked past with a look of indifference, barely noticing who had run into him. This surprised Tadashi as he was expecting at least a reaction, and he let out a relieved breath as he watched him go, two other unknown men trailing close behind and each looking equally as dangerous._ _

__He rocked on his heels slightly, distracting himself briefly before remembering exactly what he was here for. With a shake of his head he threw the encounter aside and looked back to his phone, continuing to follow the little arrow. Navigating across the makeshift ring it wasn’t long before he found himself entering the opening of another alley way. He halted when he picked up on an unknown noise._ _

__Drawing his attention forward Tadashi found there were no people in this area – not a single person to make a sound, and yet he heard a faint metallic clanging echo from somewhere in the depths of the alley. He walked along, senses suddenly on full alert as he listened to the noise grow louder, and it wasn’t long before he was able to pin point the origin._ _

__Off against a wall one of the dumpsters was rattling slightly as a continuous uneven bang could be heard from within._ _

__Tadashi approached it cautiously, eyes widening as they darted down to the GPS. The realization that the dumpster was where the signal was coming from made his head spin with theories, some of which made his stomach flip._ _

__Eyes slanting he kept them locked on the metal bin as he pocketed his phone, hesitating before stepping towards it. The falter in his step was not hidden and placing both hands on the lid he paused briefly as he braced himself, scanning over the dumpster with uncertainty._ _

__He held his breath when he flipped the lid up and reeled back as something shot out towards him, so fast it was just a blur. Somehow managing to keep his footing as the speeding object grazed past his head, Tadashi raised his arms on instinct to shield against a possible attack. Though the object never came towards him a second time and instead spun over the dumpster, clambering up to the highest point before abruptly coming to a stop._ _

__Tadashi released the breath he had forgotten he was holding as he realized it was just Hiro's battle bot._ _

__The small robot wore an angry looking red face as it seemed to almost stare Tadashi down, before switching to a yellow, less threatening one. He watched the thing for a moment before looking through the alley for any sign of his brother._ _

__If the bot was here, then where was Hiro?_ _

__A sudden shift in MegaBot interrupted his concern and caused Tadashi to redirect his attention back towards the machine as he caught its face transition over to red once more. A small feeling of alarm popped in Tadashi's mind as he prepared himself to be attacked by it._ _

__The robot didn't advance anywhere near him though, and as suddenly as it had flew out of the dumpster, MegaBot was moving again. He watched in silent curiosity as the small machine rolled off the bin, shooting down the opposite way Tadashi had originally come from._ _

__Looking on in confusion he collected himself quickly and ran after the robots shrinking figure doing his best to keep up as it sped down and around one corner after another. There were a few times he was almost certain he had lost sight of the bot, but to his relief he always managed to extraordinarily catch up each time._ _

__MegaBot turned around one final bend, Tadashi not far behind as he saw the robot decelerate to a slow crawl. He did the same until he stopped completely, letting his body slouch in exhaustion. His hands met his thighs as he bent over, panting and heavily breathing in the sweet air his lungs suddenly couldn't seem to get enough of._ _

__Tadashi didn’t take long to recover and in moments he was standing back upright, removing his hat to wipe the sweat that had formed on his brow as he watched the robot roll forward, deeper into an alley that appeared to have a dead end. He squinted through the dimly lit archway trying to see where the robot was going and just barely made out the tiny machines shape as it moved up to the edge of one of the dumpsters. He watched it swivel slightly before running into something on the pavement, clumsily falling over._ _

__It took Tadashi a couple seconds before he figured out that what MegaBot fell over had been a body._ _

__“Hiro?”_ _

__His eyes grew wide and he let his hat slip from his hand, the cap falling and landing soundlessly against the cement as he broke into a sprint. His mind raced and dread overcame his entire being as he quickly sunk to his knees beside the unmoving form._ _

__Below him, curled into a ball on his side, Hiro lay motionless. Tadashi couldn't help but fear the worst, but when he saw the slight rise and fall created by his brother’s shallow breaths he managed to relax a little motioning to reach out. All he wanted to do at that moment was to pull his baby brother into his arms, but mid reach he faltered, hands fluttering over Hiro's limp body as he took notice of the boys state._ _

__Tadashi bit the inside of his cheek as he actually really looked over Hiro, taking into consideration that his brother was hurt. He was very pale, and Tadashi quickly realized too much of Hiro's skin was showing, what he could see littered with bruises and other unsavory marks. Eyeing the sweater draped over his brother almost accusingly he ultimately gained the courage to lift it up._ _

__Tadashi cursed, stomach twisting in rage as he saw the damage done. Allowing the cloth fall back down he found himself suddenly suppressing tears as he wrapped his arms across his brother, carefully scooping his unconscious form into his lap._ _

__He rocked slightly as he let a hand brush over Hiro's cheek in a silent apology, before combing through the boys messy hair, a gesture that ended up being more of a comfort to himself than Hiro at the moment. As he noticed the dried tear stains coating Hiro's face, Tadashi found he couldn't hold back his own anymore, and he gave in, crying for his brother._ _

__“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I should have been here…”_ _

__He couldn't help but feel guilty. This was his fault. He should have been watching Hiro more closely; should have noticed his brother’s absence earlier – found him before this could have happened...  
But another part of him radiated in fury as he wondered who did this; why they would do this. He found his teeth grinding together just at the thought of the sick bastard and he had to fight the urge to clench his fists because that would require letting go of Hiro, and he couldn’t do that. He would never again let his brother out of his sight._ _

__Right now he couldn't help but feel like the worst brother in the world; letting something as terrible as this befall Hiro. As tears fell from his cheeks he looked at his little brother, regretting that he couldn't take back what was done._ _

__But no matter what he knew he was going to be there for Hiro and they were going to get through this, together. Tadashi leaned down briefly pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead in an unvoiced promise. He would fix this and everything was going to be okay._ _

__When he felt Hiro shift below him, Tadashi hastily moved to wipe away his tears with the back of his hand, knowing he had to stay strong for his baby brother._ _

__As Hiro looked up, once bright and lively eyes now glazed over, Tadashi couldn't help the way his heart clenched in his chest. Although Hiro was looking right at Tadashi, he didn't seem to actually see him at first, and he whimpered at the feeling of the arms embracing him._ _

__"Shh, it's okay Hiro, it's only me," Tadashi whispered as he lightly cradled the smaller boy, giving him a gentle reassuring squeeze, "You're going to be okay."_ _

___But was he? Were either of them okay?_

Hiro was silent for a moment, then a look of relief and sorrow seemed to curl over his face simultaneously.

"Tadashi?" tears welled up in his eyes, "Tadashi, I–I couldn't stop him. He–He..."

Tadashi felt his distress and frowned at each sob that chopped up Hiro's sentence. Pulling his younger sibling to his chest he hushed him, running a hand through the mess of black hair soothingly. Hiro let his head fall into Tadashi's shirt as he let the tears fall freely, finding some comfort in his brothers smell that reminded him so much of home.

“I know, it’s okay,” Tadashi tried to keep his voice even, saying the only thing that seemed to come to mind, “Everything’s going to be all right.” At the moment the words sounded almost like a lie, and he repeated them as if the overuse would magically make it true.

They stayed that way for what seemed like hours, Tadashi consoling his brother with reassuring murmurs and tenderness that came naturally with the older Hamada. He rocked slowly while Hiro cried, quickly feeling a slight damp spot in his shirt where tears met fabric as he held his brother close. 

Eventually Hiro calmed down, body now only moving from the rocking and his trembling muscles. When Tadashi felt the younger boy shiver, he pulled back causing Hiro to start a little as he watched his older brother remove his own coat, then proceeding to pull it over Hiro's shoulders.

Hiro almost sighed at the warmth that encased him as the pre heated jacket was tugged around his small form, Tadashi's arms rewrapping over top adding to the momentary comfort. 

"Thank you," the older Hamada barely heard the words as they were mumbled from somewhere below him. Tadashi replied by tightening his embrace.

They sat in near silence for a couple moments; only Hiro's heavy breaths could be heard, accompanied by the odd hiccup. Tadashi seemed almost distracted as he stared at his form, deep in thought before carefully shifting and searching for his phone in the coat draped over his brother. Hiro looked up, confused by the sudden motion, but his eyes went wide as he saw Tadashi reveal a phone and he realized his brother's plan. 

"No cops," he mumbled, his voice cracking painfully, and Tadashi looked down at him as if Hiro had just slapped him across the face.

"Hiro, the authorities can–" 

"No!" he managed clearer this time and grabbed the phone from his brother. 

Tadashi was dumbfounded and he sat quietly, studying Hiro in silence. It wasn't hard to guess what Hiro could be feeling, but his sympathy could only reach a certain level of understanding. What Hiro was thinking could be influenced by anything, really. Wanting the police out of the picture may be from humiliation, fear, or both. Tadashi’s studied Hiro’s features, the lump in his throat seeming to never leave. 

His brother looked up at him, expression stern as he seemed to almost challenge Tadashi. But that sudden boldness was quickly sucked away as he seemed to remember his current state, and Hiro turned away sheepishly, his cheeks suddenly red. 

Tadashi felt his heart drop at the sight before he felt his blood boil as his thoughts sprung back to whoever did this to brother, his family. He opened his mouth, wanting to convince him, to argue, but when he saw the tears in his brother’s eyes, he closed it. He knew right now was not the time to make Hiro do anything that he didn't want to. But at the same time he also knew how wrong it was to not call, not to help him. 

Then he thought of just how incompetent the police here were and he reconsidered. Because Hiro had been bot fighting his case probably wouldn't be taken seriously, or discarded entirely. Tadashi had heard of similar problems in San Fransokyo. If it went wrong everything would only be worse for Hiro. 

Internally he fought with himself, looking away from Hiro as he mulled over the options. His eyes came to land on MegaBot instead. The robot hadn’t moved, coming to rest on the ground near Hiro’s sneaker and Tadashi didn’t ignore the light bulb that went off somewhere in his head. 

What the police could do, Tadashi knew he could do better. 

He sighed as he seemed to eventually come to a decision, but he couldn't help but hate himself for it. 

"Alright," he obliged finally, and Hiro looked up in shock. He couldn't believe it, and frankly Tadashi couldn’t either. 

"No cops," he echoed in a whisper, guilt evident in his features.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter was a little shorter than the first!  
> I'll also add here that I'm not sure when I'll be able to update. I promise I will continue, I'm just not sure how often I'll get the chance to write, especially as of late.  
> Very sorry! Do forgive me!!!!


	3. Sleep and the Distance Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news: I finally updated.  
> Bad news: It's the shortest chapter yet. 
> 
> Also it's kind of a bit of a recap from last chapter, basically a snippet from Hiro's side of things more or less. And next chap I'll switch back to Tadashi. I think I'll alternate for every chapter. So yeah, sooorrrrryyyy about the length and the wait. 
> 
> AND I just wanna give another big thank you to the support and lovely people in general who actually read (and like) my stuff! 
> 
> Other than that, um, enjoy? ^.^'

When Hiro first awoke to realize Tadashi had found him, he had been just as scared as he was thankful. At the same time he was also humiliated, but exceeding all was the fretful apprehension he faced as he noted the possible consequences of his brother discovering him in this state. The cold fear that seemed to take over his mind was aided by several scenarios – all of which ended with Tadashi getting hurt by the monster that did so to him.

_"You tell, and I'll kill not just you, but him too. Maybe even give him a taste of what you just had, before I slit his throat."_

He couldn't let that happen to Tadashi; would never let it happen. So he had done the only thing that might save his brother from those threats that held the possibility to become true. 

"No cops," he had said. He knew the look on his brother’s face was enough to tell him just how ridiculous he was being. But that didn't matter. Tadashi’s safety was what mattered. If anything were to happen to him because of Hiro, the boy was sure he’d never forgive himself. 

He had prepared for Tadashi to argue, the expression that formed across his older siblings features enough to warn him of the oncoming objection. Hiro had wanted to punch him – as if the physical out lash would make him understand, but instead he had shouted and grabbed the phone that his brother was about to dial the police on. It was all he could think of to stop him; to save him. 

Hiro almost cringed when he saw the look Tadashi gave him – a look of shock, confusion, maybe hurt. 

Disappointment. 

Hiro felt embarrassed, partially out of acting so rashly in blind defiance, but mostly from remembering why he was here, almost completely naked. He had wanted to cry all over again, and almost did had Tadashi not surprised him with a simple agreement. 

He had been completely astonished. Tadashi had never agreed with him, at least not with something so much against his favor. 

And the guilt that was evident in his features said that this was definitely not in his favor. 

Hiro had felt the same way his brother looked at that moment as the bubble of guilt he discovered forming in his chest suddenly burst, washing away every other concern if only briefly. He couldn't help but feel liable for causing the hurt, the unmistakable stress that he observed take over Tadashi's entire appearance. Hiro barely missed the way he tensed, a frown drawn across his lips, and Hiro blamed himself because he was the reason Tadashi found him like this. Tadashi was always worrying over his impulsive younger sibling as a parent would their own child, and he had never even fully considered what it did to him until now. 

He felt terrible because he knew Tadashi dealt with the hardship of having Hiro as a sibling; a forced responsibility.

"I'm sorry," he had said then, because he really was sorry. The apology was for being no more than a burden. Baggage that Tadashi felt obligated to drag with him everywhere simply because they were brothers. Hiro wasn't worth that. He wasn't worth the love Tadashi showed towards him, or the heartache that currently plagued the older sibling. Hiro felt responsible; that he was the reason for his brother’s distress, and on top of that everything else that happened tonight. He was to blame. 

"No, god no, Hiro... This is not your fault," with ever gentle hands he had turned Hiro's face so he had no choice but to look at him, "Don't think for a second that this is in any way your fault." Tadashi's eyes were wide with concern, brows creased as though he was begging his brother to listen to his words. 

Hiro found he couldn't hold his gaze for long and had turned his eyes downcast, nodding lightly. He did it really just to please Tadashi, maybe help ease his mind. How much he actually believed what he had said however was in contrast with the motion. 

Tadashi, not convinced, had pulled his brother back towards him. Hiro let himself be dragged back into his embrace, face falling into Tadashi's chest for what seemed like the millionth time tonight. He had to admit he would never grow sick of affection like this, though he greatly wished it was under better circumstances. Encased in his brother’s warmth Hiro found it wasn’t long before he caught himself drifting off to the rhythm of Tadashi's heartbeat.

* * *

When Hiro woke again, it was to a different movement. Still rhythmic and continuous, though more sudden, making his entire body sway. It wasn't alarming, but it was off-putting.

Opening his eyes Hiro found the movement was from Tadashi who was carrying him bridal style with both arms securely wrapped underneath his younger brother. The smaller form shuddered when he noticed the touch wasn't as raw anymore and it took Hiro a second before he realized why. 

His clothes were back on – and properly. 

He was grateful he hadn't been conscious when his Tadashi redressed him, but nearly scowled at the thought. 

Hiro wasn't sure exactly when he had passed out or come to (nor was he aware of the time that passed in between), and he didn’t know how long he had been in that god forsaken alley, or when Tadashi had decided to carry him out of it. Everything was jumbled, confusing – distorted. What was around him he barely interpreted, as things seemed to phase in and out of focus: dark to light; blur to overwhelmingly clear. 

Through lidded eyes he watched as they passed building after building, crossing through the deserted roads and under countless decrepit, flickering street lights. Hiro started to count them, noting which one's were functional and others less so, but lost track as sleep seemed to almost usher him back with open arms. He was so tired and the alluring idea of effortless slumber was more than tempting, it was hard to keep away. 

A car horn made him start, setting him on high alert as he caught sight of a sports car drive past the pair, music blaring. As quickly as it had come – slowing down only to make a scene – it was driving off again, shooting around the corner of the next street. Hiro listened to the screeching of tires grow faint and let out a quiet sigh, though he found himself still feeling on edge.

He thanked every god that came to mind that it hadn’t been /him/. 

"Are you going to be okay if we take the scooter?" Hiro looked up at the sound of his brother's voice and met Tadashi's tender glance. He seemed to of just realized Hiro had woken up. 

"Yeah…" 

Hiro knew by the look on his brother’s face that if he had said no Tadashi would have very well committed to carrying him home. 

A couple dozen more steps and Hiro was being carefully lowered down onto his feet. He almost collapsed as he made contact with the ground, but Tadashi was right next to him, arms already prepared to catch the young SFIT student should he fall. Hiro did his best to seem not completely useless, and as much as he didn't want to, pulled away from his Tadashi’s grasp as he tried to collect himself, using the other's arm for balance only momentarily before extinguishing all contact to stand on his own. Hiro shivered as his older brother retreated slightly, warmth seeming to ghost away with the distance. 

Tadashi stood behind him, waiting patiently as he watched the young prodigy find his footing. His eyes locked on Hiro as he prepared to spring to his aid at any second. 

The older Hamada observed as the boy took his first few disconcerting steps forward, Hiro scouring over the trash bins and forgotten cardboard lining the walls. He was about to ask what they were doing here when Tadashi suddenly walked forward, placing a hand on Hiro's shoulder briefly before slipping by and making his way towards a large pile of debris. The college student continued to rearrange several boxes and bags and Hiro almost shook his head when Tadashi revealed a black tarp before forcefully pulling on it, discarding it somewhere to the side in a rustling blur as his scooter appeared from underneath. He then dug a key chain out of his pocket as he pushed the kickstand up, rolling the bike towards Hiro before repositioning it in front of his brother. 

As he threw the kickstand down again, he walked away leaving Hiro and the bike together as he went to a small disused trash bin to pull out a fair sized box, and making his way back Hiro tried not to roll his eyes as he watched Tadashi reveal two helmets from the contents. Hiro wasn’t too surprised by the spectacle. 

Safety to thievery, he left it up to Tadashi to be paranoid about everything… 

Only after putting his own helmet on while walking to the bike, did Tadashi then reach down and put his brother's on, even ensuring to buckle up the chin strap. Hiro would have scowled had he not been distracted by the solemn expression that appeared permanent on his brother’s face, not once changing throughout the entire demonstration. That look alone had caused Hiro to remember why he felt so terribly guilty. 

When Tadashi finished, Hiro let the helmet weigh his head down and he looked to the floor feeling nothing but remorse. This didn't go unnoticed by his brother. 

"Hey," Tadashi tilted his chin back up, but what he originally wanted to say dissolved on his tongue as he saw the hurt in his brother’s eyes. He looked at him at a loss for words, subconsciously rubbing a thumb over Hiro's jaw as if to sooth. Eventually he finished with a simple, almost whispered, "We'll be home soon." 

Tadashi felt Hiro’s jaw clench under his hand at the mention, his little brother’s entire body appearing to tense and his eyes suddenly growing wide as he seemed to contemplate something. 

"You're not going to tell Aunt Cass, right?" Tadashi could see the tears already forming in his baby brother’s eyes, "You can't tell her. She can't know, if she did she'd – " 

"Hiro," Tadashi cut his ranting off, and suddenly Hiro found himself blinking more than usual as he fought back tears. 

_If she knew, she could get hurt too._

Tadashi closed his eyes as he seemed to be fighting with himself yet again, or else maybe he was also fighting back tears. Hiro wasn't sure at this point. 

"I–" when his eyes opened Hiro saw they were filled with only sadness and guilt, his compliance sounding forced, "I won't tell Aunt Cass... If that's what you really want." 

As he got the words out his eyes slipped shut and he let out a heavy breath in defeat. Hiro didn’t need to be a genius to know Tadashi regretted what he just committed to and he felt himself pulled into another hug as the older bent to his level, helmets lightly clicking together with the action. 

"But you need to let me help you, Hiro" he heard the words mumbled against his shoulder, and Hiro nodded. 

The ride home was more than uncomfortable, Hiro found it downright hurt. But he had guessed as much the moment he first sat down on the scooter, trying his best not to wince when he had caught Tadashi watching him from the corner of his eye. 

Even though he was certain Tadashi wouldn't hear him over the growl of the motor or through the helmets that muffled the sound, Hiro did everything he could to suppress vocalizing his discomfort. Every bump they hit, every sharp turn made, Hiro was made very aware of the aftermath. His face curled and twisted at every sharp pain that shot through his lower back, and he was suddenly glad he was able to hide his expression in Tadashi's back. 

It wasn’t long before the eerie backstreets and sketchy buildings began to dissolve into more friendly looking structures but to Hiro he only saw the neon glow of the city as a disorienting blur that sped by in changing colors. He found himself counting again as he looked past it, listing off food joints to electronic stores. The numbers meant nothing in his head, but it served as a distraction. Ignoring everything else just seemed easier right now. 

Arms wrapped around his brothers middle, he knew he must have been drifting off again because he felt Tadashi grab his hands to reposition them more tightly around his stomach. Hiro tried to stay conscious and keep a grip, but apparently he wasn’t doing a good enough job because Tadashi quickly gave up, permanently keeping one hand over his brothers to stop them from loosening furthermore. 

Hiro thought he heard his brother say something, but he was honestly too tired to care. 

Despite everything, he somehow managed to pass out for the third time that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again to all who are showing an interest and reading this fic and I'll see you in the next chapter! :)


	4. Revenge Is a Hunger That Can't Be Satisfied

"Hey, stay awake, Hiro.” 

Feeling the grip around his stomach loosen, Tadashi reached towards his waist to find his brothers hands, giving them a squeeze to try and get Hiro's attention because chances were the boy hadn’t heard what was just said. When the smaller hands didn't retighten or stay where they were placed Tadashi briefly considered pulling over to fix the problem but dismissed the thought for two reasons...

One being they were almost home, and two because he figured Hiro wouldn't go anywhere so long as he was holding onto him. 

But he quickly discovered it’s exceedingly difficult to drive a scooter with only one hand. 

The older student found himself struggling to adjust the unconscious form to fit securely against his back, the scooter swerving marginally as he did so and the speedometer dropping a fraction. Finally when he was sure Hiro wasn't going anywhere, Tadashi left him be, but kept up the slow speed as a precaution. He shuddered when he felt Hiro shift slightly against him and almost went to grab for him a second time, but Hiro relaxed almost instantly. Besides Hiro's weight, loose grip, and the heavy intake of Hiro’s breathing pressing into him, Tadashi didn't feel him move again for the rest of the trip home. 

He couldn't come to convince himself that everything about this wasn't completely wrong, and a part of him didn't want to convince him otherwise. Just knowing what he was doing, what could be the end result of this entire situation, made his conscious scream. He felt not only surprised but absolutely disgusted with himself. This was reprehensible. He knew when he found out who did this that he wouldn't hesitate to kill the scum, and that scared him, because he knew he would do it. He had done it before.  
Despite what everyone else believed, Callaghan had never actually died from the fire. 

As they pulled in front of the cafe Tadashi had to reach an arm behind him to stop Hiro from sliding off. It was a trial, but Tadashi managed to shake Hiro enough to barely wake him. 

"Hey, we're home." Over his shoulder Tadashi caught a glimpse of Hiro's lidded eyes, looking as though he could fall back asleep at any second. With a little more prompting Hiro reluctantly got off the scooter, standing off to the side. Tadashi didn't miss the way his brother winced or how he avoided making eye contact with him, but continued to dismount the bike himself without comment, proceeding to kick the stand down with a little more force than necessary. 

After taking his own helmet off and helping Hiro with his, he locked them to the scooter, and as he turned unconsciously glanced over Hiro.  
His brother looked completely exhausted, eyes almost fully closed and swaying slightly. Hiro looked as though he could pass out right where he was standing and without a second thought Tadashi was scooping him up, as gently as he always had when they were younger. As gentle as when he had held his new born baby brother for the very first time over fourteen years ago.

Hiro tensed at first, and was about to protest; tell his brother that he could walk, but he was too drained to care and let it slide as he was lifted against his older sibling’s chest. Tadashi smiled sadly as he watched his brother drift off within seconds. 

Like on the scooter it took some more skillful maneuvering and mindfulness of Hiro as Tadashi unlocked the door, but he managed. Knowing Aunt Cass would be in bed he conjured what stealth he could, wanting to not to wake her. It didn't take long before he was up the stairs and in his and Hiro's shared bedroom, closing the door silently behind him. 

Bending over, he laid Hiro down, guiding his head to the mattress, the boy turning on his side as he made contact with the covers. He watched his brother for a moment, Hiro seeming to curl in on himself and eyebrows creasing in discomfort. Tadashi found himself pulling Hiro's computer chair out as he almost collapsed into it, eyes never leaving the younger’s sleeping form. 

With his hand slightly trembling, Tadashi reached into the deep pocket of his blazer, pulling out Hiro's battle bot. After Hiro had passed out he had taken the opportunity to pocket it, knowing he would need the bot if he ever wanted justice. 

His eyes slid away from Hiro, attention and thoughts now on MegaBot as he rolled the deadly toy over his hands a few times before turning it over to trace the back of its head. There was a camera beneath, he knew because he found it when he installed the tracking device, and it honestly hadn't surprised him that Hiro would do something like tape his battles. He was now more thankful than ever that he did.

Converting his attention back to his brother and without standing, Tadashi found himself reaching over to Hiro and slipping a hand in his hoodie pocket, retracting to reveal MegaBot's matching controller. Expression solemn, he remembered how he had to redress his brother back in the alley, noticing the slightly bulged pocket in the process of replacing his clothing. Tadashi had figured that's how the small robot was originally able to “lead” him to his little brother. He had no doubt Hiro himself had installed his own GPS upgrade in the controller so the bot would always be able to locate the signal, and with it the young robotics prodigy. This way he would never have any worries if the bot was lost or stolen, because the robot would always find a way back to its owner through the remote locator. 

Tadashi mused at the idea along with his brother’s brilliance, swiveling on the chair as he laid the two together on the desk behind him, caught in his thoughts while he studied the robot. After a few moments of silence he leaned back as he ran his hands over his face before groaning into his palms. 

_What was he doing? ___

__"Tadashi?" he pulled his hands away and turned to meet his brother’s quiet voice, a pair of sleepy eyes staring up at him. He internally cursed at himself for being so thoughtless and waking up his brother._ _

__"Hiro–" Tadashi was about to apologize; tell his brother to try and get some sleep, but he was cut off._ _

__"I know you well enough to know how you feel Tadashi,, but I’m asking you… Please don't blame yourself,” the younger Hamada didn’t give the other a chance to speak and he pushed himself up shakily, moving until he was sitting upright on the bed. His voice was weak, almost a whisper, and he swallowed loudly as he found his words, “This happened because I was reckless, I was stupid. I just... I got what I deserved."_ _

__Tadashi was out of the chair as soon as he saw his brother’s tears, on the bed and pulling Hiro into his warm embrace._ _

__"Don't you say that – don’t ever say that," he was stern as he said the words, but not angry, “This is not your fault, Hiro. Nothing – nothing, justifies what happened to you.”_ _

__Hiro's response was more sniffling as he quietly cried against his brother. Tadashi closed his eyes trying to calm himself and was about to apologize but Hiro beat him to it._ _

__"I'm sorry for making you worry, for not listening to you... I'm sorry for everything." his voice cracked as he rambled and Tadashi almost winced at how painful it sounded, "Tadashi, I'm sorry." His sobbing became increasingly louder and Tadashi felt smaller hands clench tighter into his clothing. At this point Hiro's entire body was quaking from every wail causing his shoulders to shake and jump with each gasp._ _

__"You have nothing to apologize for, Hiro," Tadashi's words were hushed but if Hiro shaking his head was any indication, he had heard it. What he said next seemed almost strangled as he tried to speak up again, his voice being hacked apart and cut off by his violent sobbing resulting in it being unintelligible._ _

__Tadashi only replied by holding his brother tighter against him, one hand finding its way into his messy hair. Seeing his brother, his everything, so broken like this was the worst thing he had ever felt. It was like some invisible force was punching him in the chest on repeat, and it hurt._ _

__"Shh... Shh..." At that moment Tadashi was murmuring things he could barely keep track of: apologies, promises, vengeance. And if revenge meant killing the scum bag that did this, so be it._ _

__This time Hiro never stopped crying, though he did get quieter eventually. After a while Tadashi found himself guiding both of them down so they were lying side by side on the bed, hoping to coax Hiro to get some rest. His entire appearance spelled exhaustion, and Tadashi was beginning to feel it too. Closing his eyes, he held onto Hiro with the intention to comfort, the boy ultimately settling into his brothers embrace._ _

__Tadashi wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep, but the next time he opened his eyes he was met by mild rays of sunshine poking through the windows. Although it was light out it was still dim in the room with dark shadows being cast over every dresser and chair, making what should be a cozy setting feel unsettling._ _

__Or maybe it was just everything else._ _

__Blinking a few times, Tadashi found his eyes quickly drawn to the sleeping form next to him. Hiro was curled up against him, face still mostly in his older brother's shirt. He was asleep, if his even, heavy breathing was anything to go on, and Tadashi felt a little relieved to see that he actually looked peaceful. No doubt he was lost in his dreams, only Tadashi wished Hiro didn't have to wake up to this horrible reality._ _

__Shifting carefully and aiming not to wake his brother, Tadashi pulled his phone from his pocket, the screen blinking to life with a quick tap._ _

__“Shit,” he cursed under his breath as he saw the digital clock read 6:28 a.m. He had never intended to fall asleep, and he supposed he was just lucky Aunt Cass hadn’t come upstairs yet._ _

__Forcing the phone back into his pocket he used his one available arm, (the one that wasn’t tingling from lack of circulation due to being tucked under Hiro,) to reposition his brother, lightly lifting the boy off himself and trying not to disturb him from his much needed sleep. He worked quickly, aiming not to waste time – he knew this was not how he wanted his aunt to find them. As far as she knew, they had both gone to bed somewhere around 11 last night._ _

__Once free Tadashi decided their clothing was a dead giveaway, and so after changing himself out of his own noticeably dirty clothes, he began rummaging through Hiro's drawers, eventually pulling out a pair of pajama bottoms and the first t-shirt he saw. But when he turned to his sleeping brother he paled at the realization of what he was doing._ _

__This was wrong; unethical. He was destroying potential evidence by doing this. He would be hiding the truth._ _

__Did that make him no better than an accomplice?_ _

___No, because he wasn't doing this for the attacker, he was doing this for Hiro._

~~Or was he doing this for himself?~~

Tadashi found himself running a hand through his hair in apprehension before deciding to lower himself next to the bed. Lightly he pressed a hesitant palm to his brother’s forehead, smoothing his hair back and away from Hiro’s face before coming to a decision.

He was careful not to wake the fourteen year old as he changed him, and Tadashi found himself trying not to react as he lifted the cloth away to reveal scattered bruises and bite marks, the sight of them still managing to make his blood boil. He tucked Hiro into bed after that, but paused before throwing the laundry into the hamper. When he finally dropped them in it had been on his way out of the room, as he cast one last regretful look towards the sleeping lump of covers before heading downstairs. 

As he entered the cafe, the first thing he smelled was coffee, the smell of the fresh brew almost overpowering. The strength of the scent, he noticed, was only aided by the sweet aroma of baking as he picked out a hint of cinnamon in the mix. That was enough to make his stomach growl. 

With his mind so preoccupied he hadn't realized just how hungry he was. 

"Hey, you're up early!" Cass greeted him with a bright smile as he entered the kitchen. She was hunched over a mixing bowl, flour splattered across her apron. "Do classes start earlier today?"

"Actually, I just came down to let you know that Hiro's not feeling well.”

"Uh-oh, does he have a stomach bug?" Aunt Cass frowned and she stopped everything she was doing momentarily, attention now completely on her nephew, "I heard it was going around."

"Yeah, I'm thinking that's what it might be," he lied – he hated lying, but he was good at it, "Seeing I'm caught up I think I'm going to stay home with him today." 

Cass nodded in understanding. "Well, just let me know if either of you need anything."

Tadashi nodded, thanking her before he turned. She stopped him though, and Tadashi felt his heart leap as he feared she had caught on to his deceit. He had to stop himself from sighing in relief as she only offered him a cinnamon bun and Tadashi took it with his aunts insistence, thanking her a second time before leaving the kitchen. 

Tadashi had almost finished it by the time he was back upstairs and as he entered his room the first thing he did was look at his brother. Besides maybe shifting slightly in his sleep, Hiro was in the same spot he had left him. 

He felt another pang of guilt light in his chest, and with all his effort did what he could to ignore it. 

Stuffing the last bite of the sweet in his mouth he walked to Hiro's desk taking MegaBot and its controller before carrying both back to his side of the room. After pulling a tool kit and his laptop out from their places on his own desk he was soon sitting cross legged across his bed, everything spread out in front of him. 

He worked quickly to take apart MegaBot, fingers nimbly working to find the necessary slots and screws for disassembly. With agility and precision he had found what he was looking for in a matter of minutes, the student unwinding a small cord from the robots head. He dug through the tool box in search for the proper extension, and when he found it attached it to the stuck out cord before plugging the other end into one of his laptop's ports. 

It took a bit of playing around to get past Hiro's security set up, but it wasn't an impossible feat. He had the walls down in less than five minutes, soon coming to find a folder with listed video recordings, all of which were labeled with a quick description or title only Hiro would use. 

Except the latest one. 

The most recent film, titled only with a date – yesterday's date – the date it was recorded, sat on top. It was unedited, and never viewed.  
Tadashi let the mouse hover over the folder in uncertainty before finally clicking on it. 

The video player opened before him, and at first it appeared as though nothing had recorded, only blackness filling the screen. But then he heard the audio blare from his laptop, and with a start he made quickly to turn the volume down, sending a worried glance at his brother’s direction in fear he may have woken him. Relieved to see no indication of Hiro waking up, he proceeded to turn the volume to a more comfortable level and continued to watch, his heart suddenly beating a little more furiously than before. 

The screen continued with showing absolutely nothing, the noise of loud collective cheering sounding over the laptops speakers. Then the image changed as MegaBot was turned away from whatever was blocking its camera lens, the cheering of the crowd growing immensely louder as it was pointed forward, a battle arena coming into focus and consuming the width of the monitor. 

A fairly large robot, MegaBot’s opponent, sat on the opposite side and Tadashi found himself struggling to see anything that wasn't battle bots or peoples shoes in the tops corners. And as the tournament commenced, it didn't get much better. Between flying hunks of metal shooting across the screen, with full body shots of the robot competitor, not a single person fully came into view. 

Until the battle ended. 

As Tadashi watched shrapnel fly past the screen while MegaBot delivered its last punishing attack, the losing bot fell out of the shot to show who was directly seated behind it. He found his breath catch in his throat as he realized this was the same man he had run into back by the ring, everything including his tattoo exactly how Tadashi recalled it. 

But just because he was in the video didn't mean he had done this, right? This wasn't evidence; this was suspicion... He reconsidered that last thought as he watched the video continue. 

After Hiro had retrieved his robot Tadashi had gotten a pretty good picture of what went on afterwards. As he watched Hiro forced away from bystanders by the same man, he felt his face grow hot with anger, his knuckles noticeably growing white from how tight his fists were clenched while he watched everything play out. 

When Hiro had escaped, Tadashi watched the footage change to a jittery blur as the sound of rapid footsteps rang over the speakers. They didn't last long, and the screen was soon covered again, the only audio being of muffled voices. More blurs, then a loud bang echoed simultaneously making the screen go fuzzy, before any visual was completely lost. 

Tadashi was left with the remaining audio that sounded like more muffled voices and shuffling – struggling – that slowly faded away.  
The video finally ended and Tadashi found the ringing in his ears almost distracting as he processed what he just watched. 

At least he now knew who he was looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big thanks to everyone for all the kudos/comments/support/ and overall patience!
> 
>  


	5. To Envy What Can't Be Reached

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *guiltily looks at calendar* Soooorrrryyyyyyy

Hiro almost didn't dream that night. 

Falling asleep wrapped in his brother’s arms had left his exhausted mind nothing but empty darkness at first, a calming relief compared to the horror of that evening. But even in unconsciousness a geniuses brain doesn't stay dormant for long, and whatever peace Hiro found was eventually disturbed. 

Through the darkness of what began as a dreamless sleep, Hiro saw eyes, more animal than human, stalking with the hungry look of a shark. He couldn’t escape their gaze or the hands that found and felt their way around him, the forceful feeling of fingers that painfully grabbed and clawed at his skin the opposite of an amenity, yet all too familiar. 

Hiro tried to move – to fight against the force that now had him pinned down and restrained. He felt teeth graze his skin with the heat of a tongue that never stopped mapping his sore flesh, the humidity of the animal's breath leaving his hair to stand on end. All accompanied the unwelcome touch, adding another repulsive sensation that made him want to gag. 

He cried, and even as he thought he felt his own sobs rack his body, he heard nothing. Not only was he damned to suffer through this torment in sleep– he was also to endure it without his voice. Hiro screamed when those teeth finally pierced his shoulder, feeling the vibrations rip out his throat, but whatever sound he expected to hear was muted. Instead he was cursed to hear everything else: the hot breathing in his ear, the threats, and the repulsive groans of pleasure. All coming from the weight over top of him; the man with the unsettling eyes. 

He didn’t hear himself whimper, or cry, or beg, or plead, because all this nightmare wanted Hiro to hear was what was being done to him. Having to relive it with this added element sprouted fresh and relentless terror – terror that he’s only barely known in the horrific depths of few past dreams. And unfortunately for Hiro there’s no limitation to fear in a nightmare. 

* * *

When he awoke, Hiro barely managed to stifle a cry. Body shaking and drenched in sweat, he gasped as he bolted upright, surprised to find himself in his own bedroom. He ran trembling hands over his shoulders as if to rub away the touch that seemed to follow him from his sleep. He could feel how soaked his cheeks were from the tears that fell. 

Warily he glanced over his surroundings to reassure himself that he was, in fact, still in the safety of his own room. Simultaneously he scanned for Tadashi, but he didn’t see his elder brother in sight. The divider had been left open, revealing Tadashi’s empty bed and bedroom, his missing presence daunting. Hiro didn’t blame Tadashi for not wanting to be around him, figuring his brother's absence was most likely because of his own failings.

The sun was out, the light shining through the windows hinting it was sometime in the afternoon. Hiro found the bright warmth to be in contrast with what he felt, and his skin tingled as the last ghostly traces of those touches finally faded away. He cried silently, not wanting to alert Tadashi if his brother was close by, and he tried to force himself to stop. Though the tears continued to fall off his chin and Hiro felt the silence threaten to break as he found himself fighting to hold back another gasp. Clamping a hand over his mouth he clenched his eyes shut willing to keep quiet as the tears refused to cease. 

He opened his eyes in time to watch them spill to his lap, the drops leaving noticeable marks on his pajama bottoms. He realized then Tadashi must have changed him, and he felt a wave of shame ripple through his body. 

Tadashi was most likely somewhere nearby, if not in earshot, he guessed. And Hiro really didn’t want to bother him with this, or appear more pathetic than how he felt. But an audible sob finally broke free, sounding out across the room like a firecracker just went off, and Hiro almost flinched at the sound of his own voice, though in remembrance of his dream, a side of him found relief. Hiro looked across the room in alarm, expecting Tadashi to show up at the door any second, but saw no sign of his brother. Rather he heard beeping followed by the quiet breath of an air pump as he watched Baymax activate by Tadashi's bedside. 

In response to the realization of what he just did, Hiro’s first thought was to hide. But instead he just found himself averting his eyes away from the vinyl robot in uncertainty as Baymax neared the bed, eventually halting to proceed with his regular greeting and questioning of the situation. Hiro didn’t attempt to respond, though with how much he was crying, it would have been difficult to form a reply anyways. Instead another sob sounded from underneath his hand, followed almost immediately by several more. 

He tried to force his tears to end, both hands now tightly covering his mouth in hopes to stop the uneven gasps from surfacing. He could feel Baymax watching him, which didn't help anything. The robot scanned him in no time to assess his state, and Hiro was grateful he wasn't able to make out Baymax listing off the details of his condition, thanks to his sobs and the ringing in his ears. 

The robot continued with his rehearsed progression of questions and concerns, though none were answered. As if assessing his patient further, Baymax soon broke off in his speech falling momentarily silent. 

Hiro was surprised when the robot suddenly came closer and gently asked, “Hiro, do I have your permission to administer physical reassurance in the form of a hug?” 

He wasn’t sure why, but despite the tears that still fell he had wanted to laugh. Instead he just nodded in confirmation, and as he let the soft arms carefully stretch over him Hiro almost smiled, because knew no matter what Baymax always meant well. 

“It is all right to cry,” Hiro heard the robotic voice come from somewhere above him, "Crying is a natural response to pain." 

If his mental and physical state was anything to go off of from the scan, he figured Baymax knew every fine detail of his condition by now, along with the cause. Though he wondered if Tadashi had purposefully left Baymax available in case of something like this, or if his brother had simply forgotten about the robot entirely. But Hiro was quick to dismiss the thought letting his hands fall as he leaned into the rubber cushion around him, allowing his sobs to be muffled by Baymax’s vinyl. He took a little comfort in the realization that the robot wouldn’t judge him, but he couldn’t say the same for anyone else, including himself. 

It didn’t matter what Tadashi said, Hiro knew that this was his own fault. A teenager with a rebellious streak can’t help but think he’s invincible, and it was his own ignorance and poor judgment that got him here. Honestly Hiro couldn’t think of anyone else to take blame.

Always Tadashi had done everything in his power to protect Hiro. He was someone to look up to; to idolize. Tadashi Hamada was someone who, when offering advice, one would be stupid not to take it. Yet Hiro felt the constant need to defy him, and why? Hiro’s always loved his brother, but that was exactly the problem. Hiro loved Tadashi... more than a brother should.

There had always been a strong connection between the two, the bond being present ever since they were small. But it was only a couple months ago Hiro realized that what he felt was more than just friendship – more than sibling adoration. Overtime Hiro had fallen for his elder brother, and out of everything, that scared him. 

It scared him because these feelings felt new, yet strangely familiar. Like he had always felt the same emotions, but with his growing maturity had only just recently realized what they meant. To Hiro it felt so natural – but still completely unjustifiable. 

He was afraid of rejection, not only from Tadashi, but everyone else in his life. Admitting his feelings could ruin what they already had, causing his brother to think less of him if he didn’t decide to disown him entirely. On top of that was the fact these feelings he held for Tadashi were just plain wrong. This was his sibling; they grew up together, learned together. Tadashi practically raised him. Yet no matter how hard he pushed them away, or ignored them, Hiro couldn’t change how he felt. In his struggle to suppress them, pushing them to disappear, they had remained solid throughout everything – even now. 

During that time Hiro had figured there was something wrong with him – no normal person thought this way. He was disgusted that he should want his elder brother as anything more than what he already was – a brother. In no time the strength of his feelings managed to make him feel as sick as he thought his mind to be. And not long after his realization of his new found emotions was when Hiro had started bot fighting. One of the reasons he got into it was to use it as a distraction, and at first it did help him avoid the problem. Tadashi hadn’t been what drove him to it though – no, Hiro had always held an earnest interest in bot fighting coupled by the desire to partake in the stakes that came with it, so the time would have come sooner or later (though his brother was definitely a major influence on the final decision of how soon.) 

Hiro gradually found himself sneaking out more. By being out more, and keeping a distance between him and Tadashi, it had actually proven to work to take his mind off the issue. Even when Tadashi had grown suspicious and found out, catching and dragging Hiro home almost every night… The thrill of a chase, the adrenaline that pumped through him, the head rush of victory – all proved to keep up the distraction. All of it was enough to make his heart beat differently; for a different cause. On top of it came the arguments – which although Hiro dreaded, he figured that every time he felt his heart break from Tadashi’s shouting or frowned disappointment, that maybe this time his heart wouldn’t heal, and maybe the love and admiration he held for him would finally shatter with it. Though Hiro didn’t want them to grow apart and actually really hated the idea. But he knew he’d rather have Tadashi look down on him for bot fighting than for his secret.

Then Tadashi had introduced Hiro to SFIT, and things started to change. Hiro had taken the presented opportunity mostly just for what it was – a challenge. Something new and something different. It had never occurred to him just how much time that meant he’d be spending with Tadashi – the person he had spent the last several months trying to avoid. Preparing for the showcase, the two of them left alone in such close proximity for countless hours on end; Hiro thought it would be impossible to concentrate. And yet, still in the end, Tadashi had helped inspire him. 

Though admittedly Hiro still found it difficult to focus when Tadashi insisted on checking his progress by leaning so closely over his shoulder, Hiro swore he could feel his brother’s breath ghost across his cheek. Even more common was when Tadashi would encourage Hiro with a gentle shoulder squeeze, or the light ruffle of his unkempt hair. It was contact like this that sent sparks across Hiro’s skin or made his cheeks turn a shade darker – evidence of what he desired but knew he couldn’t have. Signs he was thankful Tadashi never noticed, and it gave Hiro hope that maybe he could successfully continue hiding by keeping Tadashi in the dark on the matter. In the beginning he had managed the façade fairly well too, holding his ground and keeping his feelings separate from his work around Tadashi, right up to the showcase. That night was when the fire tested everything.

In a matter of seconds Hiro had been so close to breaking, what he had fought so hard to conceal threatening to collapse, all because he was trying to stop Tadashi from running into the threatening flames that overflowed the exhibition hall. In that moment Hiro was ready to say anything, or do anything to keep Tadashi from doing something so reckless, so life threatening – down right _stupid. _But everything he wanted to say; what he had wanted to say for far too long, had caught in his throat, because in that moment the fear of the consequences of his unsaid confession were just as strong as the fear that came with the thought of losing Tadashi. It had been a silent tug of war in his mind that had ultimately freed Tadashi of his grip and left Hiro alone and helpless. And he knew the second he felt the heat and force of the explosion knock him back – the power of his body colliding into the pavement as abrupt as the realization of what it meant – that he regretted his silence.__

__Even in the aftermath of the destruction, when Tadashi had somehow managed to avoid Callaghan’s fate by chance, only bearing minimal damage to his lungs from smoke inhalation and burns that likely wouldn’t even scar, still Hiro found himself struggle to admit his feelings._ _

__In the hospital he had practiced the confession while next to Tadashi’s bedside, then not sure whether to be more afraid of rejection or never getting the chance to tell Tadashi the truth. His words were lost among the hum of equipment and Tadashi’s steady breathing from under the oxygen mask, too deep in sleep to stir even when his younger brother’s lips had pressed against his forehead._ _

__Even with hours of rehearsing, Hiro never could bring himself to confess. And he figured maybe it would be better for everyone if he didn’t and instead kept quiet. Because maybe he wasn’t meant to force away the silence that came so naturally._ _

__After Tadashi was released from the hospital, things never fully changed back to normal. The oldest Hamada had seemed a lot more solemn, losing interest or enthusiasm towards what he normally wouldn’t hesitate to express about – though this was understandable giving he was mourning the loss of his professor. He became very serious, not like anyone had seen him before: not laughing as often as he used to and keeping more to himself. Until it involved his little brother._ _

__When it came to Hiro, Tadashi always made time or got involved (not that he never did before, but this was excessive compared to prior,) even going to the extensive length of firmly laying down rules that he expected Hiro to follow, their purpose to keep him in sight. It was barely two weeks after the incident at the university when Hiro had decided to catch a bot fight, and without surprise Tadashi had found him, saving the day just in time before one of the guys could take the first swing. Hiro had figured Tadashi wouldn’t be pleased, but he hadn’t expected a lecture and orders on how he wouldn’t be allowed to do it anymore. What had shocked Hiro most was that it wasn’t a request – it was a demand._ _

__Prior Tadashi had always given Hiro the freedom to make his own decisions (though he would still provide his consecutive, insistent opinions and thoughts on said decisions.) That had always been one of the things that outlined the difference between him being a brother, and not a parent. Though Hiro figured it was driven by Tadashi’s own near death experience, the trauma of the fire and the loss of his mentor probably having something to do with the spark of protection suddenly igniting into a full blown inferno._ _

__Hiro had disregarded Tadashi’s wishes, naturally. And naturally he had soon ended up in over his head, finding more trouble than a fourteen year old can handle. Or now in his case, what a fourteen year old should never have to handle, or have to go through. Hiro knew this wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t insisted on ignoring Tadashi. All Tadashi's ever wanted was to keep him out of harms reach, but now it's too late._ _

__Hiro knows Tadashi didn’t fail him. Tadashi has never failed him. It’s always been the other way around._ _

__"Tadashi is absent, however I can contact him if you are in need of his presence," Baymax's blunt voice reverberated through the hollow of his stomach, the statement a confident response to Hiro's quiet sniffling as his tears found an eventual end. "He may be able to provide additional emotional support."_ _

__"No, it's okay Baymax," Hiro was quick to reply, though his voice was barely a whisper, "I've been more than a burden to him already."_ _

__The robot paused as if he were contemplating something (or searching his memory for possible solutions,) before he spoke again, with an almost advisable tone._ _

__"Other steps towards healing include, but are not limited to counseling, reporting to authorities–" Hiro stopped him there._ _

__"No, Baymax–" when Hiro pulled away he found himself forcing to stabilize his breathing as he pushed to hold the tears back this time around, "No one, can know about this, okay? The fact that you and Tadashi... That means– he could..."_ _

__The memory of the threat that played in his mind was enough to rekindle the fear that robbed him of his voice. But it wasn't his life he feared for; it was Tadashi's._ _

_"You tell, and I'll kill not just you, but him too. Maybe even give him a taste of what you just had, before I slit his throat."_

__The threat was farfetched, probably meaningless and empty and only existent to keep him quiet – but Hiro couldn't risk being proven wrong. He would never gamble Tadashi's safety like that._ _

__Baymax blinked down at the boy below him, before speaking confirmation. "If you have full confidence behind your decision, I will support it."  
In a display of relief the young teen closed his eyes, a quiet sigh rolling over his shoulders. But the nurse bots next question quickly distorted his features, causing his eyebrows to crease and an uninvited shiver to swim up his spine. _ _

__"May I recommend and/or apply care to your physical injuries?"_ _

__When Hiro finally opened his eyes, he found he couldn't even will himself to directly look at Baymax._ _

__"No... It's fine Baymax." In all honesty he didn't need the awkward embarrassment and possible distress that could come with either option. From what little he caught from Baymax's earlier description, he was fairly sure that what injuries he had were no more than minor, and what did need more, special, attention... Well, the internet had its many uses. "Don't worry about it, " he finished._ _

__When Hiro went to stand, he couldn't help the mild shaking that started in his legs or the accompanied pain. He felt unstable, and he knew the limp he found himself walking with was going to be hard to hide from aunt Cass._ _

__"Are you in need of assistance?"_ _

__"I can manage," he answered shaking his head as he continued in the direction of the bathroom, "I'm just going to go shower..." On course he momentarily caught sight of Tadashi's laptop, left on and opens near his bed. Any normal day he probably wouldn't have hesitated to snoop, but he couldn't find the motivation. Right now all he wanted to do was be clean; he felt disgusting._ _

__"Hiro," the boy paused in the doorway when he heard the robot repeat his name, "As my patient I must advise you that bathing may destroy potential evidence and–"_ _

__"–I know, Baymax," Hiro turned his head but still couldn't bring himself to look at the nurse bot. "That's the plan," he said continuing into the bathroom. He felt almost guilty with his next choice of words. " I'm satisfied with my care..."_ _

__Hiro barely caught the sound of Baymax deflating when he closed the bathroom door behind him. Knuckles white, it took him several long moments before he finally released his hand from the door handle._ _

__Turning the shower on he slipped out of the warmth of his clothing, avoiding the mirror while he undressed. He had no desire to see his condition, the scattered throbbing and aches he felt on his skin reminder enough of what he went through. More than anything he wished he had the power to forget._ _

__Hiro didn't give himself time to hesitate before he stepped under the spray, nearly gasping at the sensation. The water felt almost heavy as it struck against him, fully covering him in seconds. He frowned as he brushed the mop of wet hair from his eyes, a shaky breath trembling from his lips._ _

__No turning back now._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter was uneventful, especially considering how long it took me to update. :P Next chapter will be interesting, and pretty intense hopefully. I'm definitely looking forward to writing it.


	6. Anger Burns and Blinds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW over 500 kudos and 10k hits. I am just so happy and amazed this had gotten as much attention as it has! So a biiig thank you to everyone for all the support/feedback and kind comments! I really do appreciate and love seeing all of it, even if don't always have a chance to get around it right away. Anyways about this chapter... I'm not sure if I'm happy with how it turned out... 
> 
> New WARNING : blood/gore and graphic depictions of violence in this chapter, along with all the good stuff from before

Tadashi returned to the empty room with late lunch in hand, the two plates he carried uncomfortably warm against his fingers. The contents were nothing fancy, just a few grilled cheese sandwiches and soup he had prepared while working around Aunt Cass, preparation time occasionally cut short only when he stopped to help her with customers. Knowing Hiro, Tadashi figured the teen would probably argue he wasn't hungry. But he was also hopeful that he could persuade his brother when he woke up, even if there was little temptation for his mediocre cooking. 

Nearing the foot of Hiro’s bed Tadashi almost dropped both plates as he froze, taking into account the absence of the teen. In a panic his eyes darted over the abandoned bed, and mess of sheets strewn over it, before pulling his attention to the rest of the room. He opened his mouth, his brother’s name barely forming on his tongue, when the distant noise of running water cut him short a breath. He hesitated before taking the last few steps he needed to deliver the plates to Hiro's night stand, then immediately turned to head towards the bathroom. 

Tadashi shifted his weight in front of the door uncomfortably before finally bringing himself to knock.

"Hiro? You okay?" Tadashi surprised himself with how loud his voice came out. Any movement that was coming from the other side of the door suddenly stopped, what would have been silence only interrupted by the continuous spray of the shower. The lack of response was unsettling and Tadashi immediately moved for the door handle, concern distorting his features. 

"Hiro? Answer me, please," he tried again, hand glued to the handle and body prepared to break down the door if he had to.

"I'm fine," the muffled answer came through and Tadashi felt a little of his panic subside, though not completely. He twisted the door knob slightly to find it was locked. 

"Hiro, unlock the door." A locked door, he knew his brother understood as well as he did, was an issue. If anything was wrong, it meant Tadashi wouldn't be able to get to Hiro. Locks were nothing but an unnecessary barrier that could reject Hiro his safety, and that's why Tadashi didn't allow them anymore. "You know the rules."

It wasn’t like Tadashi didn't respect Hiro's privacy, and vice versa. The elder Hamada just felt a little more at ease knowing he would be able to easily get to Hiro if anything were wrong. Any other day he wouldn’t mind when the teen needed his space. Though right now, after everything the boy has gone through, Tadashi just couldn't risk leaving him to his own devices. God knows what Hiro could get himself into, or do to himself if left unattended, and the thought scared Tadashi. He hated to admit it, but he just couldn't trust Hiro right now. The boy could be reckless; careless about his own safety quite often, and that worried not just Tadashi, but everyone close to them. Even worse Tadashi knew Hiro got a lot of it from him, both brothers never quite being ones to consider the negatives of their actions. That left Tadashi with fairly stable knowledge of what his baby brother was capable of, and right now the chances of Hiro becoming a danger to himself was a very possible reality.  
On the other side of the door, Tadashi was met without an answer to his last statement. In frustration he tried twisting the handle another time, the door noticeably vibrating from the force he used. 

"Hiro, open the door," he tried again, the strength of his voice noticeably louder. He heard the shower turn off then, and his breathing halted as he strained his ears to listen. On the other side of the door came muffled movement: the light contact of bare footsteps, and shuffling of towels. What was probably only a matter of seconds seemed like an eternity to Tadashi before the clicking of the lock left the door opening before him.  
Tadashi was met by an annoyed looking Hiro who consequently didn't hesitate to glare daggers up at his older brother while he swept his soaked hair out of his eyes. The boy kept most of his body hidden behind the door, and only his face peeking out from behind. 

"What do you want?" Mild irritation was apparent, but there was no coldness in his voice. 

"I–" Tadashi was suddenly at a loss for words, a little surprised at Hiro's sudden change in demeanor since the night before. The boy just raised his eyebrows as if in impatience. "I... made lunch, if you're hungry," Tadashi finally said with a small motion towards the bedroom, momentarily forgetting the reason they were both standing there. The air suddenly seemed very heavy around them.

Each stood briefly holding awkward eye contact before Hiro broke it when he dropped his eyes to the floor. Tadashi watched as his features dropped, the boy letting his eyes close, cheeks puffing when they released a short breath, almost in quiet understanding. "Give me a second."  
Before Tadashi could say anything Hiro had closed the door again, leaving his older brother to stand there a little astonished for several long moments. And when the door swung open a second time, Hiro moved separate from it to stand center to the door frame as he ensured the towel over his shoulders was secure. He had a second matching towel tied around his waist, both working together quite well to hide a majority of his small body. 

The older student immediately took a step back as the teen stepped forward, passing by without a second glance. As Tadashi seemed to suddenly remember the incident with the lock he followed Hiro to their bedroom, starting to prepare a lecture in his head, but a too quick turn on Hiro's part caused a towel to flare. It lifted enough for Tadashi to catch a glimpse of a dark bruise on Hiro's hip, the mark almost in the shape of a hand. Everything he wanted to say was washed away by red as he felt his blood boil. 

Hiro continued to his side of the room and Tadashi felt himself stop in their doorway. If asked he wasn't sure he would be able to explain what he was feeling at that moment.

Without notice or a word to add, and only a quick glance at the food on his dresser, Hiro proceeded to start shifting through the drawers, one hand still securely clutched to the towel that was covering his torso. In little time he had his selected outfit laid across his bed, but instead of changing he glanced towards his brother. Hiro frowned. 

Tadashi stood leaning against the frame, arms half crossed and one hand against his mouth as he watched Hiro under furrowed brows. He looked to be stuck between being in pain or deep in thought and Hiro was about to question it when Tadashi suddenly dropped his hand away, speaking first. 

"Are you... Okay? If you're in pain I can–or Baymax–either of us can try to help if... If you're hurting." Tadashi seemed to have trouble finding the words, but the concerned glance he gave Hiro was enough to convey the question alone. 

He watched as Hiro's face turned a shade darker, the boy dropping his glance to the floor as he pulled the towel tighter over himself. "Baymax - Baymax already scanned me..."

Tadashi's eyes widened a little. He had been in the room with Hiro most of the day, minus the odd quick trips when he needed something and when he got up to make them lunch. He was surprised Baymax had managed to check over Hiro in the time he was downstairs. "...And?" Tadashi hesitantly whispered, afraid to know the extent of the damage. 

Hiro briefly glanced up before sighing and turning to take a seat on his bed.

"He said, well... There's nothing major or of "immediate concern" and I should heal without an issue. Other than some things _hurt,_ " he paused briefly, eyes lidded as he focused on the skateboard near his wall. His voice finished no louder than a whisper, "It's not like there's a lot that can be done for it."

"Do you–Do you mind if I take a look?" Tadashi felt something in his chest twist as the boy looked up under still wet hair, the odd water drop falling to land on the towel. He entered the room slowly, mindful of how he approached Hiro's bed.

As the boy seemed to finally comprehend what was just asked his eyes grew wide like he was going to panic, and Tadashi readied to take back the question and his approach as he halted at the foot of the bed. But before he could, Hiro suddenly blinked and looked away, hanging his head as he nodded, and he let the towel fall from his shoulders. 

Tadashi wasn't prepared to see what he did. When the towel revealed the colorful marks littering his poor brothers skin he felt his knees grow weak, and it wasn't long before he found himself taking a seat next to Hiro on the bed. 

He instantly felt his eyes scanning, taking in everything from small scuffs to what he feared might scar. Along Hiro's back were several bite marks, one brutal one almost glowing on his right shoulder that Tadashi immediately grew worried about. Bruises painted almost everywhere around them, more dark ones than light, all trailing over his back. His abdomen held the biggest and most noticeable though, as they connected to the ones on his hips. The rest seemed to trail down and underneath the second towel. 

Although Tadashi had seen some of the damage back in the alley, and again when changing Hiro, most of it had gone unnoticed because of the poor lighting and how fresh the sores actually were. Now, with time to set and proper light, Tadashi was not only given a showcase but also a fairly good idea of what happened. And the picture made his stomach turn. 

"Is it alright if–if I..." Tadashi wasn't completely sure how to go about it, but Hiro seemed to understand what he was asking.

"Yeah... Go ahead," he nodded again, still avoiding eye contact. 

Tadashi brought his hands up slowly, lightly bringing one to cup Hiro's shoulder. The boy tensed at first, shivering at the feeling but eventually relaxed, and if anything found comfort in his brothers touch. 

His first area of focus was the bite mark, and as Tadashi drew slightly closer for inspection he felt his brother shiver again. 

"You okay?" Tadashi stopped everything to glance at Hiro, a familiar look of concern already on his face. 

"Y–yeah, I’m fine," Hiro replied, swallowing hard, "It’s just sore..."

Tadashi looked unconvinced. "Hiro, if you need me to stop–"

"I'm fine, Tadashi,” he said with more strength, turning to look at his brother this time. 

"Just let me know if you want me to stop… for whatever reason. Okay?" Tadashi cleared, barely catching Hiro's features soften before the boy turned his attention back to the floor. 

Tadashi continued to gently prod at the mark, determining the severity. The wound wasn't horribly deep, and it appeared Hiro had already cleaned it in the bathroom anyways, so infection seemed unlikely. Gently Tadashi started moving his fingers to other areas, pressing on spots that could hold a problem, and asking what hurt and what didn't. While he moved he made sure to also keep an eye on Hiro, for any state of discomfort or pain, but his brother seemed completely fine. Tadashi even watched as Hiro's eyes eventually slipped closed.

In no time Tadashi found that Hiro had been right; he had no major injuries, and he figured most of the bruises would heal within the week. Though Tadashi reminded himself to also check Baymax’s data later, just to make sure there was nothing else of concern that he was unable to… personally check over.

As he finished, hands still resting on Hiro's back, Tadashi suddenly found he couldn't pull away. Absent mindedly he found his hands still massaging his baby brother’s skin, rubbing the pads of his fingers over every mark he could reach as if they could be erased with enough contact. Soon he found his arms wrapping around Hiro's middle, gently pulling the smaller male into himself, but being mindful incase the other were to show any discomfort or rejection. Hiro was surprised, but he didn't object, and instead leaned further into Tadashi's embrace. 

"I'm sorry this happened," Tadashi mumbled beside Hiro's shoulder, his breath crawling over Hiro's skin and making the bite there tingle, "If I could change it–make things right again... I would give anything." 

"You know it's not your fault," Hiro said, voice growing noticeably thicker with unstated emotion, "You're not responsible."

"But you are my responsibility," Tadashi stressed, "You're my baby brother, and..." He closed the space between Hiro's injured shoulder and his own lips to place a quick kiss on the bite, with a wish the action was enough to heal while ensuring the truth behind what he said next. "And I love you, Hiro... If I can't protect you..." He trailed off mumbling against Hiro's shoulder. 

"I love you too," Hiro whispered, and if the boy was at all fazed by the new affection, he was hiding it well. "But I just want to move on, Tadashi... I want to forget it ever happened.”

* * *

Tadashi tried for weeks to forget, but no matter how hard he pressed to ignore the ever reminding rage away, he wasn’t able to. As much as Hiro told him to drop it, or leave it alone, he just couldn't. Especially not when he had come to know who was responsible – or rather he could at least match a face to the offender. 

The weeks following had gone back to a mostly regular routine, both boys continuing at SFIT after a few days. Tadashi was careful to keep Hiro in sight nearly everywhere they went, which Hiro was slightly annoyed about at first, but eventually accepted because he knew it would help ease his brother’s mind. 

Though the physical wounds started to fade, Hiro's injuries healing without an issue, mentally the teen found more difficult, as was understandable. No one at school noticed much of a difference in Hiro, but living together it was easy for Tadashi to see. He saw small changes, like lack of motivation, to large and common occurrences such as night terrors that seemed to plague the boy nearly every night. Hiro would wake up, screaming, crying, sometimes to the severity of waking up Aunt Cass. This led to many nights where Tadashi would end up sleeping with Hiro so he could easily catch them in time and be there for support. This left the student himself with many sleepless nights. 

Tadashi knew the face of whoever did his to Hiro, and also knew he couldn't just stand by while this man got away with it. But at the same time he also knew he couldn't leave Hiro unattended as of now. So while grounded he made a habit of research sessions; memorizing tournament patterns and hangouts, background checks on infamous fighters, and ultimately finding a name to the face. Though he spent so much time learning the information, that he never contemplated what exactly he was going to do with it…

_Cadoc. ___

As the name flashed across his laptop screen, one of many aliases entered by fighters all over San Fransokyo, Tadashi felt anger hot enough to blind. A part of him was suddenly fully aware of his intent, while half of him argued – not that he listened. 

It had been just over two weeks after the incident; Hiro being nightmare free for a record of three days when he finally figured he was safe to leave. Tadashi was tired, body numb and mind clouded from lack of sleep, but he had been waiting days for an opportunity like this. He had a face, a name, and several locations to start his search, though he wasn’t entirely sure of a plan. Then again he didn’t exactly care enough to have one sorted either, because that would mean he’d have to think about what he was getting himself into and what he was also risking. Logic was arguing, but only anger was driving his thoughts right now, and they had been for a while. 

After watching Hiro go to bed, and hearing Cass follow suit within the hour, did Tadashi make a final decision. When he knew certain Hiro was asleep, he made quietly out of the room, grabbing his helmet and keys for the scooter at the door. He only paused when passing the kitchen, stopping at the bottom of the stairs in thought momentarily. Next second he found himself on the other side of the counter, quietly shifting through drawers until he revealed a small knife, one Aunt Cass often used for intricate designs when slicing for catering orders. It was small enough to be concealed easily, and deciding protection was an absolute must, he slipped it into his coat pocket before continuing out the door. At least he lied to himself that that’s what it was for. 

Less than a twenty minute drive later and Tadashi found himself along the darkest streets of San Fransokyo, neon signs alive and buzzing warmly as if in welcome. He came to park his scooter in an alley, following the same routine the night he found Hiro, and concealing his only ride home with whatever was available before entering the streets. 

The walk to the first location he had in mind wasn't too far, and Tadashi only hoped what he chose to wear tonight would keep attention away from him. An old black coat, hood drawn, still wasn't enough to keep out the chill though, he regretted. Or maybe it wasn't the cold that had him shaking. 

The first place he entered was a pub, well known in the fighting community and hard to find to those who weren't looking for it – but Tadashi had done his research. Following a narrow alley, with a few hard to find turns, led him to a back door with a heavy handle. Through it he was greeted by an intimidating looking bouncer and Tadashi was quick to pay the cover charge, having expected as much. 

The area was booming with sound, the noise from the commotion and music of equal contribution and causing the floor to vibrate under Tadashi. Looking over the crowd he guessed fighters from every side of city were probably here – one of the reasons he thought this a good place to start. He knew this was one of the biggest known spots for fighters to gather, both for the secrecy of the location and the total cut off from the outside world. Down here there really were no rules, and Tadashi guessed Hiro may not have even managed to get down here before, if he even knew of the place at all. 

Because of how out of the way it was, there were also a good majority of bot fights held here. And along with supporting tournaments it had also been altered as sort of a safe haven for those of the bot fight scene. So along with many chairs and places to lounge, Tadashi also caught sight of several battle circles and abandoned scraps littered along the walls. The people appeared to mostly keep to themselves, or among their designated tables and groups, some noticeably more rowdy than others. 

Navigating through the crowds Tadashi began scanning for someone who appeared at least mildly approachable. He eventually decided on an older looking man, sitting alone at a table. When Tadashi approached he could already smell the alcohol on the other, and the man didn't bother looking up from his drink.

"Uh, excuse me sir?" Tadashi spoke as well as he could over the noise of the room, and when the man still didn't acknowledge him he tried a second time, “Sir? I was wondering if you'd be able to help me." 

The man looked up from under grey eyebrows, expression unchanging, but he didn't answer. Tadashi took that as an opportunity to continue.  
"I was just wondering if," he paused to take a piece of paper from his pocket, before unfolding it in the table, "You'd happen to know where I can find Cadoc?" Tadashi honestly doubted he would get anywhere tonight, but it was worth a try. Even a lead would be something. 

The elderly man's eyes shifted to the paper, scanning over the slightly blurred photo Tadashi had taken from MegaBot’s footage. His shoulders shifting slightly as he studied it before looking back at the young man in front of him.

"Who wants to know?" he spoke for the first time, his speech slightly slurred but not misunderstood. 

"I do. For a fight. I've heard he's quite the challenge to take down," Tadashi lied. 

"Well you've heard wrong boy," the man snorted, "Cadoc's best bot was scrapped by a kid not two weeks ago. Barely worth your time in my opinion." 

Tadashi wasn't sure how he managed to keep a straight face.

"Do you know where I can find him?" he ignored the statement, pushing for a proper answer. 

"Sure," the man lifted an oil stained hand to point across the hall. Tadashi found his eyes focus on the opposite corner, a dark booth barely visible in the already poor lighting. He barely caught his jaw from dropping when he saw the man he had been looking for, everything up to the tattoo exactly how he remembered it. 

"Thank you," he finished, scooping up the paper from the table before walking away. The man gave Tadashi an odd glance, but nodded before taking another swig from his drink, quickly losing interest. 

A million things started swimming through Tadashi's head at once, and he wasn't sure what to focus on. He felt the strength of adrenaline the closer he got to the table. His mind flashed between rage and fear, not sure which one drove his next actions, but it was dizzying. Then he realized who was accompanying the man he felt so much rage towards, and he knew he had to show restraint.

Cadoc, attention lost on the other’s at his table, seemed oblivious to anyone else outside the booth. He was without a care in the world, because he had protection, Tadashi was quick to notice that as he spotted the two broad shouldered men from the night he found Hiro. This time logic won, and Tadashi was quick to retreat. He turned, feeling frustration take over everything, but Tadashi ultimately knew he would have to wait to get what he came for, and with agitation he took a seat at an empty table. He chose a spot with some distance, though still with a clear view to Cadoc’s booth. And like a hawk, he waited with patience, and in silence.

Just the look of the man was enough to infuriate, and Tadashi was thankful when he didn’t have to wait long for Cadoc to separate from his group. Making a small gesture, the man stood, saying something to the others at the table, which went unheard by Tadashi. Next he was talking to one of his guards, and Tadashi feared they were about to leave together, but to his relief both guards stayed seated as Cadoc walked away.  
Tadashi felt his heart accelerate in apprehension when he realized the man was walking in his direction, and casting his eyes downward, prayed not to be recognized. Cadoc paid no mind to him, just the same as the first time Tadashi encountered the man. And after Tadashi threw one last glance towards Cadoc’s men, seeing both absorbed in their own conversation, did Tadashi rise to follow the other.

He pursued the bot fighter, following him into a hallway and towards what he guessed would be a bathroom. But as Cadaoc was about to open the door, Tadashi loudly cleared his throat, making the other man sharply turn, surprised. The hallway was empty, aside from the two of them, and Tadashi figured there likely wasn’t going to be an opportunity like this any other time. 

As Cadoc turned, Tadashi was given a full view of the man in front of him, and he had to stop himself from lashing out and strangling him right there. Restraint left him to stand there, lips in a thin line as he made first eye contact with his brother’s rapist. 

Tadashi found himself at a loss for words; all he seemed to see was red. 

"The fuck do you want, kid?" the man's expression spelled annoyance with his tone, as he was the first to break the silence. 

"You're Cadoc?" Tadashi found his voice, but it shook. Looking at the inked dragon on the other’s arm, he already knew the answer, but asked because he honestly didn’t know what else to start with. He tried to undo his clenched fists stuffed in his pockets without success. 

"Uh, yeah, that’s the name I fight with," the man looked down the hall before answering with a laugh, obviously amused. 

"Then I'm here for my brother.” 

Cadoc's brow creased in confusion momentarily, his lips parting in question before he seemed to remember. A cruel smile then curled over his features, making Tadashi’s blood boil.

“You’re another Hamada then. Hiro’s brother, yeah?” Cadoc asked, laughing after the question. Tadashi was surprised and a little terrified he knew that much about Hiro, and he was suddenly fearful towards what else this man might possibly know of. 

Before Tadashi could say anything else, Cadoc had cast him scowl before suddenly turning, walking away and further down the hall. He was moving so quick Tadashi barely had time to comprehend the man was leaving, so he did the only thing that came to mind, and followed. A part of him knew what he was doing, and the other part didn't seem to care why he was doing it. So Tadashi, left blind by loathing, followed Cadoc around the corner. 

It wasn't long before Tadashi felt himself roughly grabbed and dragged into a room, the force enough to shove him onto the floor. He landed hard on his chest, feeling the breath knocked out of him. Behind him he heard footsteps and a door close. 

Disoriented Tadashi looked up to find the walls and floor lined with destroyed and broken bot parts, along with discarded tools and other garbage. There were several counters filled with tools for both fixing and taking apart robots, and Tadashi guessed he was in a scrap room.  
He groaned as he moved to lift himself off the floor, but a heavy boot against his back forced him back down, causing him to grunt in pain.  
"You know it's too bad Hiro can’t keep a secret," Cadoc laughed, his voice echoing slightly in the room. Tadashi felt the sharp pain of a knee suddenly digging into his back and had to fight not to cry out. "Guess you’ll have to pay for your brother's mistake." 

Tadashi growled, but a hand in his hair yanking his head back cut him short when he felt the sharp metal of a knife under his chin. He was sure he felt his heart stop. 

"I could end your worthless life right here," he threatened, slapping the face of the blade against the skin of Tadashi's neck, which elicited a startled gasp from the student. "Or..." Tadashi then felt the knife begin moving in a circular motion, lightly massaging under his jugular as if in reassurance. "We could also fool around a bit – I mean, I'd only be keeping my word to Hiro that way, right?"

It sickened Tadashi to remember that Hiro was in the same place he was now, barely two weeks ago. But he would be damned if he was going to let it end the same way. He jerked his body to try for freedom but the increasing pressure of the blade quickly halted all movement. The man above him chuckled sadistically at the response. 

Tadashi couldn't stop the curse that came with his next breath. He knew if he could just reach the knife in his own pocket, and reach it fast enough, this whole thing could be over. 

The blade was suddenly withdrawn and with it his hair released leaving Tadashi to barely stop his chin from colliding into the floor. He froze as he felt a hand run over his shoulders and down his spine, then over his sides as he noticed his coat being pat down. Before he realized what was happening, he felt Cass's knife being confiscated from his pocket. 

"Look what I found," Cadoc laughed but there was a hint of surprise in his voice, "Got this in grandma's pantry did we? Tell me, what were you planning to do with it exactly? Skin a mouse?" Tadashi could barely turn his head enough to cast a glare over his shoulder. Cadoc smiled before tossing the small blade to the other side of the room, where it loudly landed unknown by Tadashi. He suddenly felt lost; hopeless without it.  
"I can see how you two are related, you know," he said making Tadashi tense, "Same stubbornness. Same eyes. Hell, maybe you'll even make the same pretty faces he did when I fucked him raw." Tadashi snarled another attempt to get up failed. 

"Don't you fucking talk about him!" Cadoc could feel the pure rage trembling through the younger man's body. 

"Strike a nerve, did we?" he smirked, the sudden gleam in his eye hard to miss, even by Tadashi. He felt the pressure on his back move away then, but before he could react to it his wrists were being pinned on either side of his head, trapping him a second time. The presence behind him suddenly felt that much closer. Tadashi wasn't sure where Cadoc's knife had gone, but he knew well enough that it would be in reach if needed. 

"He begged me to stop, you know... You're gonna do the same." Tadashi felt a breath hit the back of his neck and he shivered, rage consuming him. "He cried, too."

"Shut up." Tadashi shrugged under the hold.

"Are you going to cry?" Cadoc was next to Tadashi's ear now. "Are you going to be a good boy like he was? You going to come for me, like your brother did?"

"Shut up!" Tadashi twisted, lurching his body and shaking the man above him, but not enough to remove his weight. Instead the movement did the opposite, causing the other body to push further against his backside. Tadashi swore he could now feel every part of Cadoc over top of him, and it made his stomach churn.

"It was obvious the kid’d never done it before," he laughed, Tadashi's irritation only encouragement to continue, "How does it feel to know I was the one to take his virginity–?" 

"I said shut the fuck up!" All Tadashi felt was heated anger, and it consumed him; blinded him. He was twisting again, trying to break free, but a repositioned hand shoving his face to the floor quickly discontinued the struggle. He felt the body atop him grind down and suddenly another hand was rubbing at the skin under his clothes. Unintentionally Tadashi bucked to try and throw the other off but it only resulted in more contact along with an ugly groan of pleasure to emit from behind him. 

"Fuck you," Tadashi growled, lashing out at the same time and throwing an elbow behind him in hopes of striking something. He hit nothing, and his face was pressed harder into the floor while his arm was grabbed and restrained. He cried out when he felt it forcefully twisted behind his back, causing him to cease any struggling with the pain.

Cadoc gave a pleased chuckle the moment he felt the body below him fall limp.

"Now there's a good boy," he hissed, making sure to keep his weight firmly pressed over the younger male. With his cheek pressed into the floor, Tadashi gritted his teeth when he felt the man above him shift his weight, the focus of pressure now mostly against his ass. "I can't wait to hear you beg."

The hand on his head was suddenly removed, and Tadashi's eyes went wide when he felt them travel to his belt buckle. In one final desperate attempt, Tadashi tried for freedom. As the fingers worked blindly to loosen his clothing, he forced his body to turn. His restrained arm painfully worked against the motion, though Tadashi was too caught in the moment to care. He wasn't sure if the unexpected surge of strength came from the adrenaline, or if it was driven by anger; he was just thankful it worked and that for once the effort wasn't futile. 

Above him Tadashi felt the body thrown off as he rolled onto his back. He grabbed hold of his own arm, the hot shock of pain he felt erupt in his shoulder hard to ignore, but bearable. 

Tadashi had minimal time to recover before Cadoc was back on top of him, another furious struggle for dominance as Tadashi felt the back of his head collide harshly into the floor with the force that slammed against him. He groaned, attempting to find the strength to push the other off while ignoring the throbbing in his shoulder and skull. A hand twisting into his hair left Tadashi to clench his eyes shut as he felt his head tipped back and the knife pointed back to his throat. 

"Listen you little prick," Cadoc growled, roughly jerking his hand and causing Tadashi to inhale sharply, "You can either fucking cooperate, or this is going to get a lot uglier than it has to be." 

Tadashi ground his teeth, before he reached up to grab hold of the hand with the knife. It was a struggle, but once he was sure the blade was a safe distance away from his neck, Tadashi brought a knee up, striking what he guessed was the others stomach. Instantly he felt Cadoc's grip loosen as the man recoiled, and while still being careful of the blade Tadashi took advantage of the others temporary weakness to strike a well-aimed punch. 

Everything that happened next was a blur. His thoughts were driven by anger and fear, both emotions in a war to inspire his next move. The rage that had built in Tadashi was urging him to attack; to strike Cadoc while he was stunned and still cradling his bleeding face. However fear cleared some of the shroud, directing Tadashi's attention to the knife Cadoc still firmly held. The horrifying speculation was enough to momentarily cut through the fog of Tadashi's mind, as logic outweighed every other option. He was unarmed, vulnerable, and he knew he needed to create some distance between himself and the threat at hand before a backlash. 

Like a dog that had been kicked, Tadashi shrunk away, backing off with a quick push on the floor. His journey ended abruptly however when his shoulders roughly met with the side of a counter making him wince, the force of the impact enough to rattle what was on top of it. He flinched when he felt several objects roll off it to fall around and on top of him.

When the avalanche ceased, Tadashi glanced over the mess, scanning over the scattered parts in search of anything that could be useful for defense. At first he thought certain his eyes were playing tricks on him when he spotted Aunt Cass's knife among the heap. 

Movement ahead of him had his attention next, and Tadashi was quick to snatch the kitchen blade, the knife small enough to easily conceal behind a closed fist. He only hoped Cadoc hadn't seen him move for it. 

"Fuck." Tadashi looked up as the man cursed, his eyes slanted as they locked back on the student. Cadoc appeared to not notice the other male was armed. "You're going to fucking regret that," he growled, wiping away some of the blood with his sleeve while rising to his feet. 

It took Cadoc all of three heated steps to close the distance between the two. Tadashi had no time to react before he was being dragged to his feet by the front of his shirt, and slammed against a nearby wall. He cried out when the force agitated the pain in his shoulder, but he managed to keep the knife in hand the entire way, grasping it like a lifeline and almost cutting his hand as a result. 

"Mess with a bull, and you get the horns, kid." Tadashi felt the knife against his stomach then, the pressure of the blade outlined clearly through the fabric of his clothes, though not strong enough to penetrate yet. "I'm starting to feel you're not worth the hassle." Tadashi unintentionally grimaced as the blade was pressed harder against his naval. "So I'll make this short..." 

Tadashi let the kitchen knife slide out between his fingers then, the blade now visible to Cadoc if he had been looking for it. Tadashi knew the weapon to his stomach was still potentially harmful, even deadly, and to try anything right now was reckless. But he didn't care. Now that he was armed, he let his anger take the reins as Cadoc's final sentence was what caused him to finally boil over. 

"But when I see your brother again, he won't be as lucky, I can promise you that."

Tadashi lost track of everything, blinded by the rage that encouraged his almost unconscious decision. He felt like his body was no longer his own, and when he saw red this time, it was from blood. 

Tadashi didn’t feel himself raise his arm, but he did feel the impact of the knife piercing something solid. A sickening noise Tadashi couldn't begin to describe, as well as a cut off gasp accompanied it. Though he wasn't entirely sure what sound had come from whom.

Cadoc’s face twisted; confusion and shock trailing over his features in turn. Tadashi's breathing grew heavier and more rapid, and he felt almost frozen in place. Eyes traveling down, they quickly stopped as he spotted his own hand, fist curled strongly against Cadoc’s throat. The realization of what it meant left him staring, mouth gaping. His stomach turned as he realized he could feel his hand pulsing around the knife currently lodged in the other man's neck. 

Tadashi felt his muscles start to tremble, as he watched blood begin to pool and run out from under the weight of the small blade. The pressure from the other knife had long since receded from Tadashi's stomach to loudly clamber onto the floor, Cadoc dropping it in favor of reaching to grab hold of Tadashi. He didn't reach to attack though, but instead for support. One hand twisted into Tadashi's coat and the other latched to his wrist, as though he was going to attempt removing the blade.

He watched the man struggle, horror now drawn over Cadoc's face. Tadashi didn't doubt he held a similar expression as he finally found the strength to retract the knife, the action driven by his disgust of what he had just done, and seeming to split the puncture open even more. Blood immediately sprung from the wound, spraying across Tadashi's line of sight, the display like a scene out of a horror film. Some of it he felt land on his face and clothing and suddenly he couldn't see straight. 

Cadoc released his hold on Tadashi, and eyes wide, cupped his hands over the gushing wound; not that it even began to slow the bleeding. For how small it was, Aunt Cass's knife had gone deep. Combined with where it had stabbed, left Cadoc with a clearly fatal wound. As he watched the man stumble backwards, his breathing coming out in garbled, blood coated gasps, Tadashi knew there was no going back. He wasn't even sure if this was what he had truly wanted. 

Watching Cadoc sink to the ground, Tadashi felt the weakness in his own legs and slid down the wall. He sat in almost mesmerized silence as Cadoc eventually came to fall still, his struggle for air a losing battle. It didn't take long for all movement and noise to entirely cease, and though the blood still ran freely, it was no longer as vigorous. Tadashi knew what he was looking at now was a dead body. 

He let the knife slip from his blood stained fingers as everything began to sink in. 

Tadashi habitually brought his hands to his face intending to run them over his temple, but stopped when he saw the blood coating them. Instead he briefly stared, and mortified he moved to try and wipe them clean on his coat, which he knew to already be tainted with blood. He felt tears begin to fall from his eyes and had to bring a partially cleaned hand up to muffle a sob that surfaced. 

Suddenly if felt like a veil had been lifted. All that blinding anger and rage now in the past, replaced only by remorse. 

Tadashi had done this for Hiro. For his family; his brother's protection. Out of hurt, and love, and anger, yes – but still for Hiro. Even if it's not what his brother would have wanted, Tadashi concluded it was for the best. At least that was the reasoning he gave himself. 

He had just heard firsthand what Cadoc had said, and knew that so long as that man was breathing, their family and friends were at risk as much as Hiro was. Cadoc had known Hiro's name, it's hard to say what else he knew, and Tadashi couldn't take that chance. Yes, he had another's blood on his hands to account for, but at least they were safe. And that's what he tried to settle on to justify his actions. 

Collecting himself as best as he could, Tadashi rose on slightly trembling legs. A chill seemed to ghost through the room as Tadashi scanned over the bloody mess coating the floor, and he hugged his arms against his chest with a small shiver. He unintentionally caught sight of Cadoc's lifeless, lidded eyes staring in his direction and felt light headed. There was no doubt the man was dead, but the freshly glazed look his eyes carried were enough to remind Tadashi life had been present barely minutes ago. 

Breathing hard he pressed to get his thoughts in order, now avoiding looking towards the body entirely. He knew Cadoc had friends – or whoever the people at his table were. Likely they would begin to grow suspicious without his return, meaning someone would come looking eventually. On top of that were the two broad shouldered men Cadoc was always seen with. The bodyguards (or whatever they were) were people he definitely didn’t want to have a run in with. 

Tadashi knew he needed to be furtive and he needed to cover his tracks. And although the chances of the police getting involved in this were slim, he wasn't about to risk the odds. Anything that could lead to him, and to his family, had to go. Discretion at a time like this was vital.

With a shaky breath, Tadashi bent down to grab Aunt Cass's knife, not bothering to wipe it clean of blood before sticking it in his coat pocket. While doing so he glanced over his own clothes, and although they were dark enough for the blood to seem invisible, a quick pat over his coat ensured him it was definitely still there. He easily felt the already half dried stains under his fingers, along with many still damp spots. 

Catching sight of his reflection across the room in a bent sheet of scrap metal, Tadashi carefully stepped around the corpse to get to it, using the reflection to check over the rest of his body. His appearance had a splatter of blood on its face, and with a slight look of repulsion and horror, Tadashi worked quickly to wipe it away with his coat sleeve. He then attempted to wipe the remaining blood from his hands, but with less successful results, he ultimately lost patience tucking them back into his sleeves instead. And after a final glance over his clothing, double checking to ensure no blood was visible, Tadashi then pulled his hood up. The last thing he needed was someone remembering his face. 

After a quick sweep of the room, and a last, almost spiteful glance towards the body, did Tadashi leave the shop. The body was pointless to move he figured, and trying to hide it would only waste energy and time. Besides, he knew it would already be hard for anyone to find where it was now. After all, Cadoc had dragged him in here for just that, only it was supposed to be his own dead body on the floor.

Tadashi paused momentarily at the door, before using his sleeve to turn the handle, opening it with caution. He was relieved to find the hallway still abandoned, and after silently closing the door behind him, he left the scene. 

Shoving his hands down into his pockets, Tadashi almost jumped when he felt the sharpness of the knife in one. Lightly he curled his fingers around it and kept walking, turning his head down and not daring to catch anyone's eye on the way out. He had been lucky enough to blend into a small crowd unnoticed that was also leaving, but felt his heart hammering in his chest with every step closer to freedom. The music was still blaring, and everyone seemed to pay no mind to him, including the bouncer at the exit. Even when outside he didn't stop to look back, or even slow down. He kept the same pace, every step of the way, and right to the alley holding his scooter. 

After a quick scan over the bins, Tadashi spotted the pile he left the bike under. With aggression he started removing the trash, tossing the bags with enough force for a few to actually break open. He pushed the bike out with the same strength, almost causing it to topple over. Tadashi knew there were tears brimming his eyes as he felt anger begin to surface again, though it wasn't directed towards another person; this time it was on him. 

Tadashi exasperated, stopped to run a hand over his forehead, then through his hair as he dug the knife from his pocket. The blade still shone with blood, and after almost glaring at it, Tadashi turned, using his good arm to throw it away. He watched it clutter against the cement, before rolling under one of the dumpsters, and out of sight. He stared at the bin momentarily before deciding to take off his coat as well, the outermost item reeking of blood, as he discarded it in the nearest dumpster. 

The drive home was anything but peaceful, the gears in his head never seeming to stop. Tadashi tried his best to focus solely on the road ahead. The cold he felt from being left in only a t-shirt as well as the pain he felt in his shoulder served as a constant reminder of his wrongdoing. 

At the café, he found it as easy to sneak back into the house as it was to sneak out, and Tadashi was just as careful to keep quiet. He made his way up the stairs with caution, watching to possibly not trip over a sleeping Mochi if the cat decided to be resting on the stairs. He stopped only briefly at the shared room to make sure Hiro was in still bed, which Tadashi was thankful to see true. A small lump was visibly rising and falling lightly underneath the covers, the sound of heavy breathing filling the room. Tadashi almost smiled. 

Instead he casted an apologetic glance, before continuing to the bathroom, immediately going for the sink, and not really thinking to shut the door completely. He turned the sink on and grabbed an old bar of soap, his new focus only to get rid of the remaining blood that still stuck to his fingers. He scrubbed hard at the dried mess, not sure whether to feel relieved or disgusted when he watched the water run red. Effort paid off though, and it wasn't long before everything was spotless leaving Tadashi to nearly sigh in relief. When he turned the sink off he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror, and suddenly he felt light headed. 

Now that he had a chance to properly look over himself, Tadashi saw nothing but a wreck. He looked drained, and exhausted. His hair was disheveled, bags were clear under his eyes, and the eyes alone looked almost colorless; lifeless. What were usually chocolate brown irises, filled with warmth, appeared dark and cold. He also noted how pale he was, bringing his hands up to smooth over his color drained cheeks. Then he ran over his hair and winced as he felt the bump already forming at the back of his head. He didn't doubt the rest of his body would have similar bruises and welts painted over his skin, he figured as he felt the hot throb in his shoulder make itself known. Baymax would be useful right about now, but he didn't want to wake Hiro up. 

With a slight grimace Tadashi let his back meet the wall, mindful of his shoulder as he slid down to the floor. He was freezing, but tried not to pay mind to it. He also didn't pay mind to the tears that began to pour over his cheeks, or the way he bit his lip so hard he tasted copper. 

Shaking, Tadashi brought his knees to his chest, and for the first time since his parents died, he cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ............. I'm sorry ...................
> 
> Next chapter is the last.


	7. Lust, Love, and Redemption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.5 million years later... a wild final chapter appears

Hiro was surprised to find a nightmare wasn’t what woke him tonight, but instead Mochi. After pouncing onto the bed, the teen had been greeted by a face full of soft fur when the calico rubbed against his forehead in search of attention, and with a short groan Hiro had complied with the pestering. He quietly cursed the cat under his breath before moving to scratch behind its ears, the bell of the collar jingling with the movement. 

Guessing Aunt Cass had likely shut Mochi from her room on accident again, he moved over to make space for Mochi, hoping the cat would settle down quickly so he could go back to sleep. Though the moment Hiro scooted over, he quickly became aware of the missing person that should have been there, and a double take over his shoulder indeed confirmed the rest of the bed to be empty. 

“Tadashi?” Hiro felt his voice crack, weak from disuse in sleep. When he was met without a response, he turned over, feeling his eyes scanning for a presence that wasn’t there. While mindful of Mochi, he began to sit up and squinted through the dim of the room in search of his brother, still surprised when he found no one. However barely on the outskirts of his deserted bedroom, Hiro had caught a small trace of light hardly illuminating the stairwell. The light’s source, overflowing past the bathroom door that had been left ajar merely the width of a straw, gave off a steady but elusive glow that shone down the length of the railing. 

Hiro felt his nerves level when he presumed Tadashi had only needed the washroom, and silently he waited for his brother’s return. For a while he continued offering attention to the fat Calico, Mochi eventually coming to settle up against his side, and purring like a lawn mower. Though it wasn’t long before he started to grow weary, and when he heard no sound of movement or running water, Hiro found himself begin to fidget in apprehension. 

Sweeping his legs out from under the covers, he stood off the bed while ignoring Mochi’s loud mewl of protest. He contemplated just going back to sleep, though he felt there was no point if Tadashi wasn’t going to be there beside him. As he approached the bathroom, Hiro kept his ears toned, straining to hear any trace of activity from within, but all he managed to hear was the quiet padding of his bare feet against the hardwood floor. The door was open slightly, though not nearly enough to see inside, and that left Hiro to hesitate before he finally brought himself to knock. 

“Tadashi?” he tried a second time, keeping his voice low, but again he heard no answer, or sound in general. He faltered before he found himself guiding the door open, the sudden brightness of the room leaving him momentarily blind. But past the shock of the light and out of the corner of his eye, almost completely hidden behind the door, he caught a glimpse of the smallest movement. Hiro wasn’t even sure how he had noticed it; the uneven rise and fall of a form caused by inaudible but deep breaths. And when he finally turned he found his missing brother come into view. 

Against the wall, Tadashi sat on the floor, curled into himself with his legs to his chest, face hidden in his arms. A seemingly uncomfortable position, yet he appeared to be lost in sleep.

“Tadashi?” Hiro’s aim for silence turned out pointless, and he winced when his voice echoed loudly off the bathroom walls. Not wanting to unintentionally wake Aunt Cass, he closed the door behind him before kneeling down to his brother’s level. “Tadashi?” he tried again, lifting his arm this time to shake his elder brother experimentally. Almost immediately Tadashi jolted to the touch, before he lifted his head in a manner that made it look like he had just been shocked. The way he came to, almost appeared painful, his face scrunching up, before his eyes opened in disorientation. Hiro immediately noticed the tear stains that trailed over his cheeks, and didn’t miss the way Tadashi seemed to tremble underneath his touch. 

“Tadashi what’s wrong?” Hiro didn’t bother to try to hide the worry that shook his voice. 

For a moment Tadashi seemed unable to register who was beside him, looking through Hiro before his eyes suddenly grew in size. Panic overcame his features then, as he immediately wiped a sleeve over his face while attempting to gain back some composure. He tried to stand up after, but suddenly grimaced when he moved his shoulder and hissed as he slid back down the wall, holding his one arm in the other as he settled back onto the floor. 

Hiro watched the scene, rearing to repeat his question, but Tadashi answered before he was able. 

“I–I’m fine, Hiro. Go back to bed.” 

“Doesn’t look like fine to me,” the youngest mumbled, watching Tadashi rub at his shoulder. Hiro could tell his brother was visibly restraining himself from cursing. “What did you do? Slip in the shower?” Hiro still sounded concerned, though there was no ignoring the hint of amusement in his voice. He smirked, enough to show off his tooth gap, though it was quickly wiped away when he saw how seriously Tadashi looked at him.

“What?” Hiro pushed, the realization something was still off beginning to weigh on him. 

“Hiro, please, just go back to bed,” he said, running a hand through his disheveled hair, though he inhaled sharply through his nose with the action. “I’ll be there in a couple minutes.” His voice was shaking. 

Hiro looked over his brother with uncertainty and confusion, noting the bags under his eyes and the drained color of his face. His clothes were a disaster, looking as though he had been working a messy project rather than showering. To say he looked exhausted was an understatement – had he been up all night?

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.” Hiro was stern now. 

Tadashi groaned, running his hands over his face before leaving one palm planted over his brow. He kept half his expression hidden while the other arm slipped to his side; a look of defeat. At first he remained silent, his lips spread in a thin line like he was trying to drain any emotion from his features, but when he didn't succeed Hiro could only stare in disbelief as tears fell down his brother’s cheeks. 

“Tadashi…” He was at a loss for words, and the room was quick to fall to silence, until Tadashi broke it with sob he was unable to keep restrained. Hiro had never seen his brother like this before – drained, broken, _helpless_. Whatever this meant, it was serious. 

“Hey...” Hiro felt his voice shake as he brought his hands up, gently cupping his brother’s own hand and guiding it away from his face, hoping to meet eye to eye. But Tadashi had his eyes closed firmly, nose crinkled and teeth gritted as he fought to restrain his dismay. Without much thought Hiro reached up to cup his brother’s face next, emulating an action Tadashi often used when he was upset. If it helped calm him, maybe it would help Tadashi. At least he hoped.

Hiro almost winced as he watched Tadashi bite his lip to hold back another sob, the pressure enough to turn the skin of his bottom lip white. “Tadashi, please...” Hiro was thankful to have obtained his attention this time, and Tadashi’s eyes finally opened to focus on the other, although hesitantly. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

Tadashi looked mortified as he seemed to think over what Hiro was asking of him. He released his lip from the restraint of his teeth to draw in a shaky breath, as though he was preparing to explain. But instead his eyes only welled with fresh tears, "I can't, Hiro," he was soon shaking his head out from under Hiro’s touch to avoid his gaze, looking away with an expression the younger boy read only as guilt.

Hiro moved away then, sitting back with knitted brows as he studied his brother. “You don’t trust me?”

Tadashi shook his head, “You know that’s not why, Hiro,” he managed this time, though his voice was noticeably strained. Hiro snorted then, which surprised both of them, and Tadashi snapped his chin up meeting tired eyes that read disbelief. 

“So what? You put tracking devices in my stuff for the hell of it? Keep me just in reach on campus because you think I won’t fuck up?” Hiro scoffed. Tadashi was rendered speechless. “You don’t trust me,” Hiro mumbled, a look of hurt evident in his features. “You’ve never trusted me.” 

He suddenly felt regret for turning the tables and making this about him, but he just couldn’t see how it was fair. Tadashi was always expecting his brother to trust him, though he never considered that Hiro might want that faith returned just as equally.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Hiro,” Tadashi tried to hide the way his voice cracked, but failed, “I just… Don’t trust what could happen to you, if I’m not there to stop it.” He hoped Hiro could understand that much, but all Hiro understood was that his brother was overprotective. Tadashi would take a bullet for him – yet he seemed to either forget, or just not realize, that Hiro wouldn’t hesitate to do the same.

“And you don’t think I can’t feel that way too?” Hiro caught how Tadashi tensed at the remark. “I worry about you too – you don’t realize it, or maybe you just don’t care… but I do. I worry. I’m worried now… I’ve noticed you haven’t been sleeping lately – clearly something’s been eating you. The least you could do is maybe let me try and help you – just like you’ve helped me. Because this–” he gestured over Tadashi dramatically, “–is concerning.” Hiro felt his voice shake throughout everything – he’d never been very good with expressing himself, but he hoped this would get his point across. “The night you ran into the fire? I was terrified… You didn’t listen to me, Tadashi, and– I thought I’d lost you… ” Hiro drew in a shaky breath with the memory, the confession quickly bringing on tears of his own. “Please–” Hiro felt himself fall forward then, his arms finding a way around Tadashi’s middle, an action driven from desperation. “–I don’t want to lose you, Tadashi… I don’t want you to leave me.” 

“I’m sorry Hiro… but I can’t promise you that.” Hiro felt Tadashi’s chest quiver underneath him with the weight of the statement, before his stomach jumped with another restrained sob. “I’m so sorry…”

“Why?” Hiro didn’t hide the hurt or confusion in his voice, and silence seem to be the only answer to his question at first. He froze when he felt tears land on his shoulder that weren’t his own. He hadn’t been expecting to feel Tadashi break down underneath him again, and Hiro found himself tightening the embrace in hopes to help reassure his brother – though it didn’t seem to have the desired effect.

“I–I’m sorry, Hiro,” Tadashi choked, words almost intangible, his voice sounding raw and broken, “I am so sorry–I… I killed him, Hiro… I killed him, I’m sorry…” 

Hiro heard an ear splitting sob break next to his head then, the chest he was curled around convulsing as he questioned whether or not he’d actually heard correctly. 

“What?” he asked, not sure if his voice was able to make past a whisper. He felt Tadashi pull away from him then, his older brother backing off as though Hiro had suddenly burst into flames. Hiro, now lacking something to latch on to, found his arms curl in around his own chest as he watched Tadashi hide his head in his hands, another disorienting sob seeming to shake the entire bathroom. 

Hiro felt like a weight had just been dropped in the pit of his stomach, his eyes widening as he mulled over what he questioned having heard. But instead of jumping to a conclusion on his own, he waited for Tadashi’s answer, unable to help how his lips parted with the horror of anticipation. Though when neither spoke, Hiro’s patience quickly evaporated and he hesitantly pushed for some sort of explanation. 

“What did you do? Who...?” he finally whispered, and he knew his voice had a hint of disbelief in it. What was said didn’t make sense – not coming from Tadashi, anyways. He was having trouble wrapping his head around how such a thing could even remotely be possible. And he was suddenly questioning whether this was some sort of sick prank, maybe something Fred had set up and convinced Tadashi to do – but then, it couldn’t be. This was too much to be a joke; too dark for Fred’s tastes, and Tadashi would have never agreed. 

Another nightmare, on the other hand, was a little more believable. 

As Hiro watched Tadashi run his palms down his cheeks, wiping away some of the tears that continuously fell, he braced himself for an answer. And after a few shaky breathes, Tadashi finally provided him with one. 

“He–the man who…” His voice faltered, and Tadashi was hesitant to look his brother in the eye properly. “–The one who hurt you.”

Hiro was barely able to think, let alone come up with what to say. Instead he stared, mouth agape, as he attempted to fully process exactly what that meant. But it was difficult – how could one make sense of something, that was so foreign of a thought,; an unapprehended concept? Hiro had never envisioned his brother as someone capable of violence. The two just didn’t fit together. 

Tadashi had long since broken any eye contact with him, choosing instead to hang his head. Hiro knew his brother enough to read the expression on his face, clearly seeing shame and dread from underneath the tears that fell without change of flow, and Hiro quickly felt he couldn't keep the opposite, more composed exterior anymore. The tears that already brimmed his eyes, finally spilled over, words sinking in with a final, harsh understanding. This was their reality. 

The young teen felt his head spin, a million questions, accusations and demands crossing his mind that he had the sudden urge to bark out – because Tadashi couldn't just leave him with that. He deserved to know. And he wanted a reason, he wanted details, he wanted confirmation and reassurance. Most of all he wanted to know if they were truly safe. 

"Are you sure?" Hiro's voice shook, matching his brothers, but somehow managing to come out clearer. As terrible as this was, Hiro couldn't help but feel the smallest hope of relief – praying that his family was no longer in threat of danger, even if his brother might have deliberately gone searching for it. Tadashi was right here and safe for now, that's the only thing that really mattered at the moment. 

Surprised, the older student had brought his head up at hearing Hiro's question, the look on his face saying he had been expecting a different reaction. Hiro watched as his brother nodded his head: yes – not a verbal answer, but confirmation no less. Still, Hiro needed to know more, he had to be absolutely sure! "How?" he croaked. Tadashi's eyes noticeably widened, glassy with tears, and he opened his mouth stuttering a protest. Hiro wouldn't have any of it, and repeated the question more heavily. "I have a right to know, Tadashi."

Tadashi searched his sibling's face, but unable to find a trace of uncertainty, he felt himself give in. His next intake of breath was sharp and shaky as he readied an answer, unconsciously bringing a hand over his cheek to brush over the forming stubble. He pressed harder at the skin when he felt his fingers rub over the irritating grain that mixed with stick of drying tears. "A knife," he choked, “from the kitchen..." Hiro watched Tadashi grit his teeth, suppressing what emotion he was able. He felt his eyes widen while his brother explained in sparing detail. "There was so much blood..." Tadashi finished in a whisper.

Hiro found himself glancing over his brother for said blood (if there was a lot, surely he would see traces, right?), but not seeing any asked about it with little thought to the remark. Tadashi quickly explained between small hitches in his breath that anything that could lead back to himself, or Hiro, he had disposed of and would be near impossible to find. "Did anyone see you?" Hiro’s worry doubled when he remembered the company the man kept.. 

Tadashi shook his head. "Not anyone that would remember." The bouncer who glances over countless faces every night, along with the intoxicated elderly man who'd fallen comfortably deep in his glass, would likely not recall him easily. 

"You're sure...? You're absolutely sure there was no one with him who could have seen you?" Hiro stressed, fearing for his brother’s life should there be retaliation. Especially since this was all very real, he had to keep reminding himself; this entire situation felt surreal. This wasn't a nightmare, and the way Tadashi looked at Hiro as he nodded his head to answer of the question, was enough alone to confirm it. This had happened. Deep down Hiro knew that, and he cried as he let that wash over him. 

Tadashi's expression screamed pity and guilt, like he was accepting what he believed Hiro to think of him, and prepared to watch his little brother get up and run away, or lash out. But Hiro did something that surprised him. With a final, shaky gasp, Hiro had filled the space between them a second time, lacing his arms around his older brother’s middle as if his life depended on it. Tadashi was speechless, but he returned the hug with minimal hesitation. 

"I'm glad you're safe," Hiro said, crying into Tadashi’s chest. He guessed this probably wasn't the most appropriate or comprehensible reaction to finding out your brother had killed someone: anger, hurt, disgust and fear likely more understandable feelings. But Hiro also knew this was still Tadashi; still his big brother. And the boy would always love him, unconditionally. 

Tadashi opted to stay quiet at first, eventually coming to rest a hand on Hiro's head and combing his fingers through the fluffy mess of hair before smoothing it over while the teen continued to sniffle into his chest. Any distress or pain he felt before seemed to numb with Hiro's presence. 

"He won't be able to hurt you again," Tadashi finally whispered, and Hiro nodded, aware that Tadashi had done this for him. They sat in silence, their breathing eventually evening out as both relaxed some. Hiro seemed to be working to come to terms with their situation, while Tadashi appeared to be mulling it over. His thoughts were interrupted though when he felt Hiro yawn against his chest. Without much warning Hiro found himself being helped up, Tadashi wincing slightly when he trusted too much weight on his injured arm–though he was quick to readjust. Hiro thought to ask about it, but held his tongue, figuring he might not want to know. He hadn't realized how close he was to sleep until he felt his body react with little difference to a rag dolls in accordance to the movement. But he gained some composure, not wanting to loose the closeness he had been sharing with Tadashi. Hiro felt himself being led out of the bathroom, and feeling more asleep than awake mumbled an almost distorted question towards Tadashi along the lines of inquiring what they were doing. 

"Bed. We have classes," Tadashi answered simply as he walked back to Hiro’s side of the room. Hiro thought briefly on how amazingly Tadashi appeared to have regained his composure, almost like nothing had even happened. And if not for the evidence of drying tears still coating Tadashi's face, Hiro might have wondered again if he actually was dreaming. "We'll talk more tomorrow." All too soon Hiro felt his body being guided into the familiar softness of his mattress, Tadashi easily rolling the comforter over him. Hiro frowned at the loss of contact, and when he realized his brother was about to turn and leave him there, his arm immediately grasped forward. He was relieved when he caught the edge of Tadashi's shirt. 

"Stay. Please." Hiro couldn't help the edge of worry that frayed his voice. "We don't have to talk anymore right now, but please don’t leave." 

Tadashi smiled sadly, before lightly grabbing hold of Hiro's outstretched hand and applying a reassuring squeeze. "I will. I'm just going to change." Relieved to hear, Hiro leaned back, letting Tadashi continue. He watched as Tadashi left the divider open, and as much as Hiro tried, he couldn't seem to peel his eyes away as his brother stripped to his boxers, before throwing on a pair of pajama bottoms and a t shirt. Although it was a sight Hiro was used to seeing by now, tonight the routine was almost hypnotic, and he found his eyes slipping closed with an inexplicable sense of calm. 

He remembers falling asleep when he felt Tadashi’s familiar weight dip into the mattress.

* * *

They never did talk more in the morning. In fact the incident was never brought up again for another week. 

When Hiro first woke up, he discovered an empty bed, and upon minimal searching, soon found Tadashi downstairs, seated at the breakfast table. Not an unusual sight any other morning, but what was off was how his brother had all attention zoned on the television. With breakfast in one hand, remote in the other, Hiro watched as he flipped through channels obsessively. The pattern was quick to pick up, Tadashi only stopping longer if it was a news channel. 

"Tadashi, honey, do you mind finding one station and sticking with it? You're giving me a headache." Aunt Cass complained from the kitchen, but she didn't voice any other concerns if she had any. 

"Sorry," he apologized quickly, clicking a few more times before setting the remote flat on the table. Hiro didn’t miss how he had winced when he moved too quickly, but both remained quiet about it. Tadashi had chosen one of San Fransokyo's popular news channels, leaving his eyes glued to the screen before continuing to eat his breakfast as though nothing had happened, and becoming so engrossed he barely caught Hiro enter the room.

Classes at SFIT turned out not much different than this. Between lectures, Tadashi would end up checking his phone, and during lab hours he would often get distracted by the small television set up at the corner of the room. Hiro understood though; he was equally worried, and so any conversation on the matter had been placed lower on their list of priorities. It wasn't long before Hiro found himself checking for news updates as well, scrolling through results on his laptop and phone when he could. 

As the days passed, they slowly became less anxious and the atmosphere calmed noticeably – at least in Hiro’s case. But Tadashi still seemed worried, still obsessed over the possibility of the media having knowledge of the crime. A week of searching and worrying had passed by when Tadashi finally closed the lid of his laptop. Hiro looked back from his chair expectantly as he heard the sudden cease of typing.

Tadashi was currently sitting at the end Hiro's bed, legs crossed and laptop balanced on his lap. Although his one arm had been bundled in a sling for the past week, it didn’t seem to have discouraged or slowed him down much. Hiro had been the one to insist Tadashi be scanned by Baymax the morning after, noticing the obvious discomfort he was in after breakfast, which also didn’t seem to lessen while they were working in the lab. Naturally Tadashi urged that he was fine, but Hiro wouldn’t have any of it and eventually activated Baymax himself with an fake cry of pain. The robot had soon navigated the room to stand before his irritated inventor, scanning and then informing the brothers of the damage. 

Minor bruises (one particularly worse one on the back of his head, though Baymax said there was no alarm of a concussion, thankfully) and scrapes were no surprise, along with a sprained shoulder which Hiro had expected was the case. It wasn’t serious though, and Baymax only recommended a sling, painkillers and ice packs for swelling. Hiro had made sure they did everything Baymax said – and even though Tadashi complained it restricted his work, Hiro would still make sure he wore it for as long as Baymax wanted him to. Both had predicted people they knew would ask what happened, so Tadashi was left to make with a simple lie about machinery toppling into him after making sure Hiro had not only caught on, but would be willing to lie to their friends. Hiro had complied without a second thought, which left Tadashi to wonder if his brother actually fully understood the severity of their situation. 

By now Tadashi had developed a habit of being in Hiro's side of the room, more so than his own, lately feeling more at ease when in close proximity to his brother. Despite everything, he still knew Hiro was the only one who was as comfortable around him as he could be around the other. 

The fourteen year old turned away from his computer desk, spinning in his chair to face Tadashi. The older student had pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning slightly, and Hiro couldn't help but smile a little, despite the scene. 

"Done?" he asked, a hint of hope in his voice. When Tadashi didn't react or answer right away, Hiro's brow rose. 

"Hiro, I..." Tadashi pulled his hand away, offering his brother a sympathetic look. "I have to turn myself in. I can't do this."

Hiro took a second to process this information before his face fell. 

The idea of losing Tadashi, the one person who's helped him so much through everything, was a thought he couldn't bear. 

"No, Tadashi – you can't just –" Hiro rolled his chair forwards, the side bouncing against the bed. He reached out grabbing what was close, which ended up being Tadashi's pant leg, curling his fingers into the fabric like a scared child. And honestly that's what he felt like right now. The thought of not having Tadashi here to comfort him anymore – to look out for him - made Hiro feel completely lost. Even if he complained about most of it regularly, deep down, he was always grateful. “–You can't just... leave." 

An image of bright, burning flames of the expo hall shot up in the back of Hiro's mind, and his grip grew tighter. He had let Tadashi from his grasp last time, but this time would be different. 

"Hiro, I don't think you understand the severity of –"

"– And I don't think you understand that I need you." Hiro shot the words, not realizing what he had just said until Tadashi had stopped mid-sentence. Even though Hiro felt the color begin flushing his cheeks, he still held his grip firm. Not this time. 

"Hiro... What I've done..." His voice wavered, and Hiro felt a slight pang of guilt. "It's not something that can just be swept under the rug. What I've – what I've done is unforgivable." 

"Then why'd you do it?"Hiro prompted. That had caught Tadashi off guard... "If you regret it so much, why did you do it?" 

Tadashi thought about it and swallowed, Hiro's brown eyes never looking away as the boy awaited an answer. 

“I guess, anger mostly. It's hard to stand by and do nothing, while the person who hurt someone you love, goes on without consequence," Tadashi said under his breath, almost slowly. “That’s why Callaghan’s dead.” 

“Tadashi, that wasn’t your fault.”

“No, that’s just what everyone thought.”

Hiro stayed silent – he felt like his mind had just disconnected from his body, taking his voice with it. Tadashi looked away gravely, inhaling sharply before continuing. 

“I managed to get to your microbots before he could. I had the power to save not only myself, but him as well, yet I didn’t.” Hiro didn’t respond, mostly from shock. Still, he didn’t make a move to question, letting Tadashi continue. “Before he died, he tried to convince me why he needed them. He wanted revenge – for his daughter. But at what cost?” Tadashi risked a glance towards his brother. “I knew when he attacked me that his intentions weren’t pure – they were driven by hatred and anger. I’d never seen this side of him before, but I knew he was out for blood.”

“It wasn’t the fire that killed him – it was me. I knew then, that if he was willing to dispose of me so easily, just to get to your microbots, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so to anyone else, including you. I didn’t know what else I could do – and I guess the neurotransmitter didn’t give the microbots a chance to hesitate. Because before I knew it, he wasn’t trying to fight me anymore… The microbots – they went… straight through his chest. I’d never seen anything like that before.” 

Tadashi stopped momentarily to run a trembling hand through his hair. “I remember standing frozen in place, horrified – I barely managed to shield myself with the microbots when the explosion flooded the building… And when I woke up – I tried to tell the nurse, but she didn’t believe me, passing it off as nonsense because of the trauma. I later found out there was nothing for evidence – it had all burned, so I kept quiet after. I still regret it... I didn’t mean for it to happen. I went in to help, not – not that.” Although there was no mistaking the remorse or sorrow in his brother’s features, Hiro saw no tears, but remembered many being spilled at Robert Callaghan’s funeral. He didn’t doubt Tadashi regretted what he has done, though there is a time when that sadness becomes tolerable or numbs altogether. He guessed his brother had been at that point for a while now. 

“At the time, I didn’t understand his rage – but now I do. I understand too well, what he was fighting for; why he wanted revenge so badly. And if what he got for it was death, the least I can do is turn myself in.” As Tadashi spoke those words, Hiro felt like the floor had been ripped out from under him. 

“Please don’t Tadashi.” He had found his voice again, though it was weak. “I can’t lose you.” The guilt that showed on his brother’s face was impossible to miss, and Hiro felt bad for playing on it.  
"And if you turn yourself in – they’ll know. They could come after you – or me, or Aunt Cass. Besides,” he directed, “You shouldn’t feel bad, because, in the end... Cadoc got what he deserved." Hiro was surprised to hear himself use the name, though he stepped over the words carefully, stuck between not being sure if he was comfortable saying them, or relieved to hear himself say it. Either way, it was process. "And in the end... maybe you saved others from having to go through what I did."

Tadashi frowned at the reminder, but couldn't find it in him to tell Hiro anything different, mostly because there wasn't much else to say. Hiro was right – ultimately it served for the greater good. 

Tadashi smiled down at his brother, bringing his hand up to push some loose strands of hair from his face. He was proud of Hiro, he never tried to hide that. Time healed, and he supposed if his baby brother could do it, he could too. They both had skeletons in their closet, but at least they shared the closet. That made the burden a little more bearable.

* * *

"Hey, boys?" Cass’s voice rang from the other side of the room, and Hiro looked up from where he was seated on his bed, momentarily forgetting the bot he was tinkering with as he acknowledged his Aunt. Tadashi, who was seated on the floor and propped against the mattress, turned up from the book he had been absorbed in. Both met their Aunt's eyes from the top of the stair well. 

"By chance have either of you seen one of my kitchen knives – a little pointed one? The smallest from the more expensive set is missing and I looked everywhere – neither of you used it for one of your little projects I hope?" She eyed the youngest first with a mix of worry and suspicion. 

Hiro knew better not to touch most of his Aunt's kitchen supplies without permission – he'd first learned well enough around eight years ago. Immature and naïve, the two brother’s had never even considered asking then. For the interest of their invention, they'd found themselves rummaging through the kitchen in search of something to substitute for a part – which they found quite successfully. It had worked, though only temporarily before causing the entire structure of their makeshift bot to crumble. One heated Cass and several dented cake pans later left both boys with a lasting memory they had no intention to revisit... 

In response, Hiro immediately shook his head, watching as Cass diverted her attention to Tadashi. He caught his brother's expression from the corner of his eye (he looked scared?) before it clicked. The knife – _that_ knife.

Hiro was quick to follow her gaze, but found Tadashi now appeared only confused. It was his turn to shake his head. "I haven't seen it either, sorry," he lied. Hiro was stunned by how convincing his brother both looked and sounded and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise as a shiver ran through him. He realized if he didn't already know the truth, he would have believed Tadashi right along with his Aunt at that moment. "Did you check the cafeteria yet? I've seen some things get mixed in the cutlery drawer down there lately," Tadashi inquired, and Hiro suddenly wondered why his brother had never taken an interest in theatre – Tadashi was a natural actor.

Their Aunt sighed. "I'll go check again, but let me know if either of you come across it, okay?"

"Sure Aunt Cass," Tadashi replied, nodding. 

"Hiro?" The teen hadn’t realized he had still been staring at his brother until Tadashi looked up at him with their Aunt's persuasion. Hiro had glanced up quickly after, mimicking Tadashi's own reply with another head nod. 

Aunt Cass pursed her lips slightly before mumbling under her breath (something along the lines of "Mochi sure as hell didn't take it,") then descended the steps. Hiro waited until the frills of her brown hair had disappeared past the railing before looking back at the other, who had his eyes glued to the stair well. Tadashi was frowning, and Hiro found it hard to hold his tongue until he heard his Aunt's footsteps leave earshot.

"You gonna replace it?" Hiro asked. Tadashi didn't bother to look up.

"Might have to," he sighed, finally responding after a little consideration.

"Well you might want to do it before she rips the entire house apart." Hiro smirked and Tadashi smiled lightly at the idea. Then it went quiet for a few minutes – though not quite comfortably so. Tadashi was about to try and continue reading when Hiro spoke again. "Do you ever lie to me like that?"

Tadashi froze, a little thrown off by the question before turning to find his brother's analyzing glance. Big brown eyes blinked back at him, Hiro seeming more curious than anything, but also slightly upset.  
"Honestly...? I've tried, but... I can never find it in me to do it..." He never really knew why, but that was the truth. Whether Hiro believed him or not was a different matter of course.

"What about the GPS chips?" the tone of Hiro's voice sounded more mischievous than anything now and Tadashi smiled. 

"I never lied about those, I just never told you about them," he corrected. Hiro shook his head as he repositioned himself so he was laying on his chest. “Besides, you did a pretty good job finding them on your own.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Hiro chuckled. He had to admit – it felt refreshing to laugh at something that irritated him so much, barely a few months prior. He watched Tadashi's face lighten with mild amusement. 

"Not really our biggest concern anymore though," Tadashi mumbled. Their smiles faded, Hiro seeming to get lost in thought and Tadashi regretted briefly what he had said, until Hiro spoke again. 

"Would you promise to tell me the truth, if I asked you something important?" Hiro asked. The boy suddenly found himself looking everywhere but who the question was directed at. 

"Like I said: I've never lied to you before, and I still wouldn't now." Tadashi spoke softly, reassurance clear in both his tone and features. Then his face hardened a little, his voice serious. "Especially not now. I have no reason to... Given what I’ve already told you." 

Hiro nodded, because he didn't doubt the truth behind those words. Though he still wanted to bring his hands up from where they were tucked under his chest, and hide his face in them. He could feel Tadashi watching him, waiting, and studying him. Hiro was surprised by his sudden surge of courage. "Do you love me?" 

"Of course I do," Tadashi said, causing Hiro to glance up this time. He saw a slight trace of hurt on his older brother's face. "I always will."

"No, I mean..." Hiro felt his cheeks heating up, but he couldn't think of the words to explain differently. Tadashi watched him, brows knitted in confusion. He still looked a little hurt – Tadashi couldn't understand why his brother would think he didn't love him. "Like, do you..." Hiro was growing exasperated, stuttering not getting him anywhere. He glanced at Tadashi (who still looked lost) before swallowing hard. He'd already said this much; so why not just get it over with? After everything they've both gone through, rejection isn't the worst that could happen. 

"Do you–" Hiro abandoned his last attempt to explain as he closed the space between the two of them, leaning over the edge of the bed to plant his own lips on Tadashi's. The kiss lasted barely long enough for Hiro to feel Tadashi's lips part in surprise, and then he pulled back. "– _love_ me?" he finished, waiting for his brothers reaction with slight worry. 

Tadashi's lips were still parted, his eyes wide to match. He sat stock still, staring at Hiro with a blank expression but staying unresponsive.

Taking that as a bad sign, Hiro felt regret wash over him. He turned away, dreading the thought of his brother reacting negatively because of what he just did. "I'm sorry," he said immediately, "I shouldn't have done that." A few seconds of silence passed before Tadashi finally spoke. 

"Hiro?" Hiro heard his name but didn't dare look, and he didn't move when he felt the bed dip beside him, Tadashi standing up to sit next to him. "Hiro, look at me?"

The teen took in a shaky breath. He'd known that rejection was going to hurt, but prior he'd figured it would be easier to get it over with than live wondering if he had a chance. Now he wasn't so sure.  
When he sat up to face Tadashi, Hiro could barely see him at first, his eyes watery enough to keep everything unfocused. Tadashi brought his hand up slowly, brushing some of Hiro's hair off his forehead before cupping his cheek. "This is what you want?"

"O–only if you do," Hiro said, leaning into his brother's touch. Tadashi didn't say anything, only studying the boy’s features, before he brought his face down. Hiro was surprised at the sudden closeness, being sure merely moments ago this would never happen again. 

"Is this alright?" Hiro could feel the heat of his brother's breath on his own lips, his heart suddenly pounding away like a jackhammer. 

"Yes," he breathed. Tadashi closed the space between them then, their lips meeting for a second time. Hiro had melted into it, enjoying how different it felt when Tadashi's mouth moved to match his own this time. Then all too soon, he pulled away, and Hiro grew worried, supposing that if it wasn't because they needed a moment to catch their breath, it was because Tadashi was having second thoughts. But Tadashi had only moved with the intent to check if Hiro was okay, sweeping the boy's ever disastrous hair from his eyes a second time to ensure a clear view of the younger boy’s expression. He searched his little brother over for even the smallest hint of discomfort or hesitation, but found none. All he found was his little brother pouting up at him because he had stopped so quickly. 

"Slowly." Tadashi mumbled rubbing a thumb over the boy's stuck out bottom lip. Hiro wasn't sure what he meant by that and opened his mouth to ask, but Tadashi had read the confusion on his face before he could even ask. "We have to be careful. This... This isn't exactly–"

"–What? Safe for me? Legal? Ethical?" Hiro cut him short, raising his brows in mild amusement at Tadashi's reaction, though his eyes were still glassy from unshed tears.

"Yeah..." the older swallowed, mulling over what Hiro had just expanded on. 

"Trust me when I say I've thought about every one of them," Hiro's voice had dropped to almost a whisper, "But not a single one has managed to change how I feel." There had been too many nights he'd wished the fear and the self-loathing alone would be enough to drive away, or at least hide his feelings – but they never did, and instead only added to his frustration. But now... now they didn't have to be pushed away anymore, and Hiro had never felt so alleviated. 

Feeling the space between them had become too far, Hiro leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the only person who has meant this much to him. 

"I love you, so much," he whispered into Tadashi's chest. When Hiro felt his brother return the embrace, he felt calm. He felt safe. 

"I love you too, Hiro," the Tadashi mumbled into the mess of hair below him, pressing a kiss to his little brother’s head. He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about this – but then again, how he felt shouldn’t matter, should it? He had murdered; killed in cold blood – even if he had done so for Hiro’s sake, that didn’t change what he had become. But, if this is what Hiro really wanted… Tadashi was certain he could do this too. So long as he held the privilege to ensure Hiro’s happiness and safety, he knew he would always do absolutely anything, and everything, in his power to keep that reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the resolve I originally wanted, but at least I can take the weight off my shoulders knowing it's finished.
> 
> Motivation was very lacking for this last chapter (if me not touching it for over a year and some doesn't say that already), I feel like the end definitely could have been expanded a lot more, but then I also figured this ending kind of suited the style of the story? Kind of an abrupt, open ending like a lot of the other events/situations in passing. I dunno, I tried. It's really hard to do something when you've lost your passion for it, you know? 
> 
> Anyways, if there happens to be anyone who is still ever so patiently waiting, i hope the wait wasn't a disappointment or anything and this provided some closure. And as a final note, I do really just want to thank everyone again who has read this story, whether a while ago or recently, all the support and kudos are very much appreciated! (And if anyone is dissatisfied with this, please feel free to write your own resolve or continuation!)


End file.
